Saturday, 21 November 2009

Concourse despatch

In further tales of limited connectivity, I am in St Pancras. The wafflechild has just left me with many imprecations not to lose any more vital things or get lost and only just stopping short of writing my name and his phone number on my forehead in magic marker. He's not wrong. I have been horribly, pathetically chaotic in the last couple of days. Useless. I suppose the enforced competence of moving house is starting to dissipate and my brain is reacting by returning to its usual sluglike consistency. Also, we did have quite a lot to drink and danced to the drag queen beat at Chez Maman until my stomach ached from laughing.

Ah, Chez Maman. It is the size on an average bathroom and entirely black. Maman and the girls descend down a rickety precarious staircase to riotous applause and lip synch from the top of the bar to Shirley Bassey and The Gossip. Maman is seriously burly. "I would recognise those calves anywhere" said Wafflechild as she sashayed down the ladder for her second number. A wild eyed Irish man told us that I was like Joan Collins and he was Doris Day. We had huge fun. I fell into a coma on the Ektorp at 3 and woke up with a face full of dribble and an eye stuck shut with caked eyeliner. Marvellous. I would go back in a heartbeat, especially now that we know the secret code to get back out. Especially for that.

Tonight is Pochyemu's legendary TWITTER PARTY. to put faces to many many pseudonyms and tiny avatars. I can't wait. What with the gin, and the drag queen sweat, and the bar full of chain smoking (and stroking) beautiful small men, I am wearing a very special scent for the evening, named for the occasion by Lucy Fishwife as "Eau de Slutte Hors Taxe". It's packed full of alluring amnesia, lost keys and money and pathetically dissolute waffleness. I have malnutrition spots from my diet of cookies and melted cheese and some kind of carbuncle in the corner of my eye that might be sequin burn. I hope it is very very dark. I will report back as fully as my ailing brain will allow, but now I have to seize the moment and run off to Anthropologie. For as many house style trinkets as I can stuff into my capacious handbag.

Hurrah! London!


Persephone said...

It's been a crap week and I have been averting my eyes from my own pain and, unhelpfully, yours. (This doesn't mean I haven't been reading your blog, just not as closely as I ought to and in my current state, I'd probably do more harm than good in the "help" front.) However, the eye-aversion was a mistake because now I'm not entirely clear about whom "wafflechild" is. He's not on your Dramatis Personae. Is he the "gay adoptive son" of whom you've made mention?

Lucy Fishwife said...

Thank you for immortalising me at the event I cannot attend **sob SOB ** ... Will think of you all having a riotous time. Will wear my own special blend perfume "Meuf Jalouse"...

ArtSparker said...

It's exhausting just to read this (not that I'm without envy).

westendmum said...

Good girl!
WEM xx

pinolona said...

Ooh have fun at the party!! Wish I were there (and indeed on Twitter).
It's another Strictly Saturday. I did have a date, honest, but he called in sick... not at the thought of me, at least I hope not...

spudballoo said...

Weeps silently with rage at the thought of Twitterparty, or any kind of party actually. I'm nearly 40 years old, I should be allowed to Go Out. No one told me the move to the cuntry would involve Staying In for ever. But I digress.

Much more importantly than all the chaos and emotional turmoil going on in your are you finding the Ektorp? Do you need emergency osteopathy yet? I bought one with, get this, a matching chaise longue oh I'm so fancy. I don't think my back will ever be the same. Cry.

Marinka said...

I read that as St. Pancreas. I am a moron. I mean, American.

Mrs Jones said...

Here's a link to help you get over your inevitable hangover - Dr Capybara enjoying a hot spring in Japan. You're welcome.

Jaywalker said...

Marinka - Mrs Trefusis got an invite to visit Brussels that had "St Pancreas" in the itinerary. You are not at all stupid. I think my pancreas could do with a patron saint. Where is St Liver when you need him?

Top Bird @ Wee Birdy said...

Can't wait to hear all about the party - not to mention your Anthro stash. xx

p.s. I wonder if Mrs T got the same invitation I did? I'm meant to be going on a bloggers' trip to Brussels on Saturday, to take in chocolate and markets.

Corte Inglesa said...

Chez Maman sounds brilliant! We have something similar here in madrid called Gula Gula but I've never dared go. Maybe I should bite the bullet and give it a go? Hmmmmmm...

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