Thursday, 15 October 2009

Thursday ingredients

This Thursday 15th October contains:

10% Dog care

(Composed of:

4% Trudging round forest in unsuitable footwear.

1% Irritation at dog depositing toys on my knee despite lengthy trudge round forest.

1% Bellowing "Oh for fuck's sake no I will not throw your ball"

2% Throwing ball in a rubbish fashion around the house.

1% Fantasising about life without a dog.

1% Guilty ear stroking.

3% Bath

(1% realising only thing to wash with is Origins Ginger Scrub or dog shampoo 1% deciding plain water will have to do, 1% remembering I am rubbish at baths)

5% Looking for something to wear

(1% failing to choose, 1% why don't I have any trousers, 2% oh look there they all are dirty 1% I'll just scratch the worst of the bolognaise off)

10% Chapter 3 rewrites

(3% hating Chapter 3 altogether 1% blank despair, 2% self-loathing, 4% inertia)

20% Twitter

(5% keyword nonsense 5% things I want to crush, 10% other pointless rubbish)

10% gchat

( 2% Discussing the downsides of a bed with memory foam (M: a bed with a BRAIN. That's got to be good, surely? E: Think carefully about what you are saying. Are you sure you want your bed remembering everything?),
4% dissing Oliver James gleefully,
4% trying to decide what scent smells of competence AND sexiness and not being surprised I don't like the smell of it).

5% Anxious scrutiny of face for increasing jowliness.

5% Filling jowly face with Cadbury Caramels and shortbread with apparent disregard for the rules of cause and effect.

5% Planning a spoof "What's in your basket" and then postponing it due to camera battery death and general apathy.

5% Bank awkwardness.

(1% wondering how that can be any of your business, bank manager, 1% unfocussed guilt, 1% bored now, 2% recovering).

20% Child wrangling.

(composed of 2% don't do that, 2% stop teasing your brother/the dog, 2% no you can't have sweets for breakfast/a fourth pudding/a machine gun, 5% finding lost things, 3% bellowing, 6% tight squeezing)

5% Crap dinner making

(1% what is there? 1% what will anyone eat without whining? 2% what can I be arsed to do? 1% god I hate this)

Trace elements of wine and itchiness.

Composition of your Thursday?

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha haaaaa my Thursday has consisted of:

10% train travel, including at least 2% oh fer fuck's sake it's early

60% work, with significant elements of cake and productiveness, making for an unusually satisfactory day

10% dinner in London with splendid mate

1% creme brûlée

5% gossip and mutual supportiveness with splendid mate

The remainder of the day holds more train travel and then a lonely empty house due to Mr WithaY buggering off overnight for work. Oh, and some more reading of my new Terry Pratchett book.

Lucy, of Livesbythewoods, who can't be arsed logging in properly on her phone.

Jojo said...

Hmm.

28 per cent builders, including 15 per cent New Plasterer And Renderer, who apparently considers any sentence incomplete without either a double entendre or a hearty phlegm-filled snort at his own wit.

14 per cent apathetic attempt at freelance work, including 13 percent twitter/fbook diversions.

12 per cent Bonne Maman
8 per cent mushroom soup
13 per cent meatballs (nb these were not all part of the same dish, although in this house it is entirely possible)

21 per cent Blacksmith - always a treat, including 3 per cent yummy burnt hoof smell and 13 per cent gossip about neighbours

9 per cent new black cashmere sweater. Mmmm.

21 per cent bad hair. Like RILLY bad hair.

6 per cent depression about sick relative, including 3 per cent existential angst

15 per cent post-school child-related chaos

4 per cent bad maths

Provincial Lady said...

30% having a lie in instead of going to work this morning (20% in pain, 10%sleep deprived)

15% Monsters Inc

10% attending teaching about Kidneys

25% 'Careers' session (20% the government hates us, and wants to ruin our lives, 10% inferiority complex)

10% dog walking, or rather, me dawdling and him thundering up and down past me, and failing to brake, having greyhound turn of speed but also greyhound racing injury that means he can't stop.

10% finally doing mountain of washing up, but failing to do any dinner. Fallen back on Homepride pasta bake, which is still not ready.

Overall, 100% Need An Early Night, Not Gonna Get One.

MargotLeadbetter said...

67% mad and ridiculous behaviour caused by hormonal surge of special ladies' time.

11% Inept supervision of student seminar/discussion group (discussed: prostitution, cottaging, appearing in police line-ups as nice little earner; did not discuss: critical reflection on previous research)

9% falling over in public (just the once, but it looms vastly in my memories of today)

13% flotsam, jetsam, fluff, feathers, wine etc

kathycastro said...

It is not yet 1PM in my day, so the percentages will necessarily be high, as opportunity thus far has been small...

30% Real Housewives of Atlanta re-runs, mouth agape

15% Twitter

5% Scaring up a date for my high school reunion on Saturday night

25% Hair coloring/shower/hair-drying. Hair will not dry because it is fearfully humid outside today. The type of humidity one sees in the deep South, not here. As a result, hair is slightly frizzy, when natural hair state is stick straight. Most odd.

5% Prep for cleaner

15% random errands (esp seeking out the most marvelous Halloween dish towel, which has "Skull-ions" embroidered on it [scallions with jolly skull heads])

5% Job search angst

Remainder of day will dramatically up the job search angst proportion, and then have jolly girls' night scheduled tonight, so all will be well by midnight.

fountain pen sue said...

45% work related stress: phone calls every half hour from irate man who called me a c*** on each occasion, it went down hill from there. 5% alcohol: i've had to have a couple of glasses of wine to cope, natch. 50% joy: scored two tickets to the child's first ever prem league match (look on his face was priceless); as I was there for his first everything, I will be there to accompany him to his first game. I am scared. I hope we do not end up dead or mutilated. I am shitting myself. Football hoolies are real and don't save their venom for the other end of a phone line.

fountain pen sue said...

actually, can we take 15% off the joy thing as child has fucked off to bed in a strop and have come down stairs to 3 coils of dogshit. FFS. I CANNOT FUCKING WIN CAN I?

Hunter said...

And that is how you get to 113%.

I know I'm a crap commenter over here, but I am a fan...

Anonymous said...

49% coffee

19% apologies to various kids parents for dog repeatedly trying to nick their balls in woods.

10% trying to find way back home inspite of living stones throw away and going there everyday. Getting in middling to huge panic of never ever finding the way. Eventually dog leads me home.

20% alcohol

1% productive stuff

1% working out if this makes 100%

Fran

L. said...

Ooh, you could make an awesome pie chart with sub-pie-charts. I'm strangely tempted.

2% cramps
1% cooking rice
1% looking for a package I am expecting
14% giving my "wardrobe" (such as it is) more thought than it is worth, given the uses to which it is put (including 13% denial about what I am likely to wear in the middle of winter)
13% concern for balloon child
2% concern for entirely fictional baby
12% seasonal depression
5% beginning to wonder if I need to cave and get medicated
15% other internet distraction
15% oh fine work
16% my actual baby (including 4% not a fan of breastfeeding, 6% rolling!, 3% formless guilt, remainder snuggly)
4% son at daycare (2% concern about picking up on time, 2% formless guilt)

= 100% mediocrity

WrathofDawn said...

Oh, the blatant disregard for the rules of cause and effect. It will be the death of me.

London City Mum said...

I have had incrementals (and decreases) today:

10% up to 45% sneezing fits

3% to 51% blowing runny nose

75% to 29% dry coughing that leaves me almost retching - disgusting, really

12% on phone with call centre man in India who was trying to convince me that nearest phone shop (him: "address is High Street", LCM: "where?") was only 2 miles away... I told him to get on a plane and show me

4% walking dog as briefly as possible ("poo? wee? great, let's go home")

88% internet/blog/email/time-wasting et al

And no, this does not add up to 100%. Maths was never my forte.

LCM x

Sinda said...

Do you have a camera in my house? One that looks into the future (since I'm not home from work yet, so some of those things have yet to happen, but certianly will)?

SPOOOKY.

Layla said...

Kathy, we will be expecting live tweeting from your high school reunion, and is there any possibility of a webcam? If not, at the very least we need BEFORE pics from your high school yearbook posted on web, along with AFTER pics from the reunion. Particularly of all your old boyfriends. That should cover it.

OK, Sister K?

Sister C xxx

The City Road said...

5% Roast Beef sandwiches.

5% off-cuts of cake for guests from the on-site caterers (vanilla cream, chocolate cream sponge).

10% remaining calm as the seating plan revisions kept on coming up until the very last moment.

10% yes you can have another 10 copies of the script / seating plan / run of show while I do 3 other things.

10% discussing how utterly blind drunk we all were 2 days ago and that (as Emma has pointed out a number of times) the cool tiles of the bathroom floor are remarkably soothing when you're curled up and hurting.

5% *sigh*

10% loving the crew I work with. Wonderful.

5% *sigh*

10% Fabulous visit to lovely person this evening. Inspired.

5% Katherine Jenkins signing at the Breakthrough Breast Cancer luncheon today.

5% hugs.

19% Breathing lifeless shopping centre air, or insipid Tfl air.

1% Breathing clear cold autumnal morning air at 7am.

Z said...

10% oversleeping and not caring. Finding 2 cashmere jumpers have acquired moth holes since being put away in the spring.
1% being brought tea by husband
1% being stared at by dog until I go to make toast
1% sniffing remaining slice of bread for mould. Amazingly, it was okay. Sharing toast with dog.
5% catching up on blogs written by people who got up earlier than I did
18% working frantically to catch up on a morning's work in less than an hour. Giving a pile of mail to husband to stamp and post
11% driving and applying makeup, some of the latter at traffic lights.
17% having lunch - herb-crusted salmon with red pepper sauce, broccoli, red cabbage, pommes dauphinoise, then apple and blackberry crumble
20% visiting daughter and granddaughter. Not mentioning apple crumble when offered newly-baked gingerbread. Skirt no longer fits.
8% shoving sausages under grill and frying an onion so that husband had something I could pretend was lovingly cooked for dinner.
8% drinking red wine and reading the papers.

I forgot to mention that I fed apples to the cows, Pinkie and Scarlet and gave them a chunk of hay.

And sadly, this is all true. Cosy as ever, as you see.

monk said...

40% walking (20% Joy at half-hour walk home (x2) on crisp sunny cold day, 15% speed-hobbling over cobbles in heels to get back to work (2x), 3% Sweaty McSweaterson, 1% cobble-rage, 1% twisted ankles)

5% unwanted phone calls (3% swearing at having to be half an hour away 20 mins ago, 2% fear)

20% surprise Mexican ambassador (8% fear, 10% adrenaline, 2% 'errrrr')

20% afternoon nap (14% zzz, 5% inappropriate dreams, 1% dribble)

5% soup (3% disappointment, 1% toast, 1% stained shirt)

Margaret said...

50% freelance job (25% Yay, work! 25% Boo, work!)
50% Is it cocktail hour yet?

Anonymous said...

My day has consisted of 20% change of employment angst (should I, will they let me), 30 boredom, but all saved by 50% fainting goats - see them here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg

Laura Jane said...

What an excellent way to categorise the day.

Lets see....my Thursday was 15% computer time, of which 10% was FB,and playing bejewelled, reading and commenting on blogs, 3% writing a post (gasp) and 2% doing and reading really annoying actual emails of importance.

20% with family of which 8% was seeing dear cousin and family and fending off the adoration of the toddler who spent the whole time grabbing and trying to destroy my new necklace, only as a ploy to distract me while he grabbed my glasses with surprising force, 2% with whining 20 year old, 2% with adorable 23 y.o. who I love and adore, while giving him a new shirt and helping him personalise it (ooh, he's just come and given me a hug while wearing said shirt) and 8% avoidance of crabby husband who stayed up late swearing at his workload and computer issues.

20% meeting duties whereby I spent 5% shopping and preparing food in a martyr like fashion, 5% assembling esoteric pieces of paper, 8% at the meeting discussing upcoming time-sink which should turn out well if I stop resenting it, 2% forgetting to discuss some stuff and needing the answers to that exact stuff.

5% bathroom time - a lick and a promise only.

5% more food shopping to take to lunch with grabby toddler.

5% getting dressed...luckily including a pretty fresh new outfit featuring an embroidered peasant blouse -a bit gappy at the neckline, and with hair in a bunch due to lick and promise. Hair somewhat resurrected in acceptableness by addition of a big red flower, thereby adding/overdoing the whole peasant look. Add one necklace (for toddler attracting) and voila!

And 30% can't be assed. incorporating 10% making my own dinner after the meeting cos grumpy husband didn't listen to the end of the message where I asked him to save me some and 20% watching TV and reading the paper and going to bed fairly early to avoid grumpy husband.

There...that about covers it.

Is my life a total waste?

Soda and Candy said...

Wow, this is completely excellent! I love the way you write.

My Thursday was
2% shivering at the bus stop,
1% warming up on the bus,
7% feeling shit at work,
3% being told I looked ill,
4% vomiting in the Ladies room,
1% being gently ordered to go home,
30% sleeping
4% eating delicious shrimp ramen
and 48% laying around on the couch feeling shite
(23% watching movies, 25% being crushed by sleeping dogs)

Kate said...

30% sheer panic when I realized that I deleted the recent copy of my novel and only had a file from a month ago.

20% thanking the heavens that I actually remembered to set up Mac Time Machine.

20% spent learning how to use blasted Time Machine to find and recover the correct version.

29% drinking tea and eating toast with copious quantities of butter and apricot jam to soothe myself from the self-inflicted psychic pain.

1% left for kid-wrangling, dinner, cat care, which means it will all be crap.

Hodmandod said...

It felt like 2lbs of shouting, raised with about four ounces of crying and moistened with wanting to slash my wrists, a sprinkling of verbal abuse, and lashings of guilt, irritation, silent fuming and false, fixed smiles in the playground. Friday on the other hand saw my writer's block beginning to disperse (don't dare say this)...

Nimble said...

Here's my Thurs.
35% the sky has been grey for six days.
25% Messing around at work
10% scouts cookie email composition
5% Pleased at my haul from a library visit
5% Why do I have to make dinner, see that the kids eat it, *and* clean up the kitchen?
5% Moment of family unanimity: gingerbread is good
1% Enjoying the book I’m reading to oldest for bedtime
5% The cat wants us to know that she’s Hungry hungry very hungry
5% Packing lunches, for some reason wrapping pickles took an inordinate amount of time
1% Finding the source of the infrequent leak between the upstairs bath and the downstairs bathroom. Boy I wish we’d had the funds to have that all redone.
1% Crap I forgot to send snack for L’s kindergarten class
2% Nitrogen

Helena said...

80% working at my new scary job and not even having time for twitter. 5% worrying about how much more scary my new scary job is about to get. 10% sitting in the car for hours on my commute. 5% trying to enjoy the hour I have after I get in before I have to go to bed again and get up at 4am to go to new scary job.
I am assuming NSJ must settle down at some point and have to keep reminding myself I have only been there four weeks so of course I am still making idiot mistakes and it is all fine.
Bah.

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