This Thursday 15th October contains:
10% Dog care
4% Trudging round forest in unsuitable footwear.
1% Irritation at dog depositing toys on my knee despite lengthy trudge round forest.
1% Bellowing "Oh for fuck's sake no I will not throw your ball"
2% Throwing ball in a rubbish fashion around the house.
1% Fantasising about life without a dog.
1% Guilty ear stroking.
(1% realising only thing to wash with is Origins Ginger Scrub or dog shampoo 1% deciding plain water will have to do, 1% remembering I am rubbish at baths)
5% Looking for something to wear
(1% failing to choose, 1% why don't I have any trousers, 2% oh look there they all are dirty 1% I'll just scratch the worst of the bolognaise off)
10% Chapter 3 rewrites
(3% hating Chapter 3 altogether 1% blank despair, 2% self-loathing, 4% inertia)
(5% keyword nonsense 5% things I want to crush, 10% other pointless rubbish)
( 2% Discussing the downsides of a bed with memory foam (M: a bed with a BRAIN. That's got to be good, surely? E: Think carefully about what you are saying. Are you sure you want your bed remembering everything?),
4% dissing Oliver James gleefully,
4% trying to decide what scent smells of competence AND sexiness and not being surprised I don't like the smell of it).
5% Anxious scrutiny of face for increasing jowliness.
5% Filling jowly face with Cadbury Caramels and shortbread with apparent disregard for the rules of cause and effect.
5% Planning a spoof "What's in your basket" and then postponing it due to camera battery death and general apathy.
5% Bank awkwardness.
(1% wondering how that can be any of your business, bank manager, 1% unfocussed guilt, 1% bored now, 2% recovering).
20% Child wrangling.
(composed of 2% don't do that, 2% stop teasing your brother/the dog, 2% no you can't have sweets for breakfast/a fourth pudding/a machine gun, 5% finding lost things, 3% bellowing, 6% tight squeezing)
5% Crap dinner making
(1% what is there? 1% what will anyone eat without whining? 2% what can I be arsed to do? 1% god I hate this)
Trace elements of wine and itchiness.
Composition of your Thursday?