Thankfully, with assistance from my team of creative thinkers (you know who you are but I imagine you'd rather I take sole responsibility for this particular project, if not, claim your glory in the comments) I have a Plan.
Building on the entirely unexpected success of Arse Biscuits this summer, I intend to launch "Eat Your Words", a range of evil, insulting, mean, homemade, organic biscuits*.
Compose your own message (thirteen characters maxium, which is oddly appropriate) or choose from one of our selection.
Selection 1: the baby shower, birth or christening selection box. Any new mummy will love this unique gift!
Selection 2: the wedding present:
A sensitive, moving single biscuit box for funerals:
Or this 'generic insult' selection box is a touching, thoughtful gift for that special someone.
Suggest an occasion and a biscuit message in the comments (thirteen characters or less), and I'll make it for you.
(*When I say "intend to launch", obviously I mean "do not intend to launch at all, but will be furious if someone else does it")