This piece in the Guardian amused me today. Jeremy Paxman views frogspawn as a guilty pleasure? Huh. That's not the rumour I heard.
A lot of the "guilty" pleasures didn't seem very guilty at all. There must be some worse ones we can come up with, surely? I mean, perhaps not me because of the sad absence of anonymity. I will have to give you some tame ones but I am relying on you to give me something a little guiltier.
Here are a few of my more socially acceptable ones:
1. Faredodging, obviously. It's the new shoplifting. I particularly like it in Brussels because:
a) The likelihood of getting caught is so low; and
b) Apparently if they do catch you, they are HORRIBLE, which just adds to the thrill.
2. I did very much enjoy once "accidentally" kicking a man when he barged past me onto a Circle Line train when I was heavily pregnant. Unfortunately he worked out it was me and called me out on it, and, me crazy and hormonal and him just crazy, we ended up trading blows. I quite enjoyed hitting someone in public with pure fury, until the CFO dragged me away, arms still windmilling, shouting "Like hitting PREGNANT WOMEN do you???".
3. Touching real fur coats in public. They're irresistibly tactile, and usually worn by fairly fierce ladies, giving the dangerous act of touching an extra frisson.
4. Teaspoons. Don't make me say it, I could get struck off. Just, teaspoons, okay?
5. Lurking on Friends Reunited and smirking at the updates from Quaker schoolmates in a superior fashion. Married your school sweetheart and running a pig farm? Run over by your own tractor? Still wifeswapping with the same old crowd? Ha ha ha, gloating superior laughter.
6. Wearing different wigs on consecutive days and watching my colleague's faces struggle with the visual and cognitive dissonance. "You look ... different, Emma. Is it your glasses?".
7. Flicking slugs over the wall into the neighbour's garden.
8. The sound of my children saying "testicules" in their sweet pearly voices. Testicules. Try it yourself. For the more proficient in French, you can try "testicules dégoulinantes".
I'm going to add some anonymous ones later too. Go on, let's beat the Guardian with an unspeakable display of pleasurable badness.