Ok, it's that time again. I've certainly been pretty bad and I'm sure you have too. I will, of course, be availing myself of the anonymity of the confessional, but just to get us started, here are a few of my more venal and pathetic sins.
1. There are three half unpacked suitcases in the bedroom. I can't even remember what they were packed for, or when. I just dip into them. I don't see myself ever bothering unpacking.
2. There was some confusion over whether the weepette might have eaten a bar of chocolate recently (ok, honesty dictates that I confess that there wasn't really very much confusion). I did nothing about it.
3. Lashes needs a filling. That's bad enough on its own for a middle class parent, but I haven't been able to get it together to ring the dentist for a fortnight.
4. I have dark thoughts about weepette rehoming as it demolishes its eighth Kinder toy of the day. Yesterday it ate my Stella Gibbon novel and a clockwork penguin. I found the disembodied flippers on the kitchen floor. Oh god, I looked over at his sweet, pancake flat sleeping body, all bony knees and ribs as I typed that. What a bitch I am.
5. I won't answer the phone at the moment. I'm not doing so well on answering email either; I am basically in hiding. Do not ask me questions. I am NOT HERE.
6. I am jealous of the CFO's amazing trauma related weight loss.
7. I am compulsively buying nice underwear. I have about as much need for nice underwear presently as I do for a replica of the Manneken Pis constructed from Jupiler cans. None of it even fits properly since I buy it online, but I don't have the wherewithall to send it back so I wear it in defiance of its quadraboob creating superpowers.
8. I can't find the overdue €900 council tax bill. I am not looking very hard.
9. I let my son watch rabbits having sex without any attempt to make it educational. I just laughed along with him. And then, when he turned the male rabbit over and watched its tiny pink penis detumesce amusingly, we both just laughed even harder.
Ok, over to you. In a refinement to usual practice, I will be tweeting the worst sins confessed and asking for suitable punishments.