Saturday, 15 August 2009

Fin de vacances

So. The CFO is folding kites while I try and scrape chocolate off the white sofas and turn all the cushions over to hide the Nutella stains. The second wave feminist caucus are back on the shelves without their jaunty hats. Fearful rabbit, giant heron and decorated egg can finally breathe again. Soon the lady from the agency will come round and count teaspoons under our apprehensive gaze. The Control Lemon has been cut in half and used for scrambled eggs.

It's the end of the holiday.

Impressively we have not eaten each other's brains or feasted on spinal fluid (thanks, M). We are SO grown up. Holiday high five!
I will leave you with this image of the neighbours' sandcastle. It features Stonehenge, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Sphinx, the Great Wall of China, l'Arc de Triomphe and uh, some other stuff. As you will readily imagine, no child had a hand in the making of it, even though there are at least six to choose from in their house. It was the work of a single, obsessive father.

I have no idea whether I will be able to post again before Wednesday. Think of me, grinding my teeth miserably whilst fending off spiders the size of ponies and failing to admire vegetables with sufficient enthusiasm.


screamish said...

good luck in the machine shed...dont forget to check for spiders...

hope you stole the mesmerism and magnetism book...take it to the farm and bring it out after dinner, start reading aloud from'll be sure to cut the evening short...offer to mummify some legumes...may the force be with you

Lucy Fishwife said...

OK there's a whole creepy Hannibal Lecter thing going on with the eaten-alive hypnotised lemon. I fear you, although not as much as I did with the biscuit thing.

Rosie Redfield said...

lemon in scrambled eggs?

Grit said...

we have just returned from tearing up the cotswolds. they are civilised there, do not fear. in these advanced days the heads stuck on poles and the cousin-eating rituals are carried out only west of gloucester.

GingerB said...

Spiders the size of ponies?!? If you were American you could carry a handgun for protection. I am afraid of guns so I have to use shoes on spiders, but still, the two pair of shoes you have with you are unlikely to do the job. Make it your mission to buy some new shoes, for protection obviously.

Mya said...

Can't you just lie about the vegetables? Just for once?Or would this encourage more unbearable bucolicolia? Poor you. Or just give in to ye olde fucking lot and curl up with a copy of Cider With Rosie. Much sympathy, my dear.
Mya x

Nimble said...

I'm with Rosie -- time for a recipe. How/why do you add lemon to scrambled eggs?

Waffle said...

Ok, scrambled egg people. You don't use the actual lemon, you just grate some zest in. When you're having them with smoked salmon.

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