(Yes, the pile of cheap confectionery is on my bed. Do you wish to make something of it?)
Things I brought back from London:
20 "fun" (better name would be "misery") sized and 2 large packets of Chocolate Buttons
Bag of various fun sized transfat loaded chocolate miniatures (see 'Grabber' below)
4 Cadbury Caramels
Packet of fondant fancies
Packet of Viennese creams (I don't even know what these are - I had a bizarre Marks & Spencer biscuit brainstorm)
Packet of gingerbread men
Packet of Fig Rolls
Packet of Burts Salt & Pepper crisps
4 baby avocados
30 cocktail sausages
1 pot Greek Style yoghurt
1 tin of Chocolate Olivers
1 Argos Fairground Candy Grabber ( batteries not included) - thereby ensuring I was allowed back in the house.
1 Whistles nude silk top (sale bargain)
1 Whistles black and white print silk asymmetrical dress with one ruffled shoulder (also sale bargain)
One Day (with some trepidation - think I might hate it, but this is what a lot of reviewers have said; that they hated the concept on principle but actually liked the book. So I am trying it, which is big of me.)
1 tube of St Tropez Everyday Light to Medium (for further adventures in inebriated self-tanning)
A knee of death, puffing up to nicely elephantine dimensions
A selection of minor abrasions and bruises from falling onto the 14:55 from Kent House to London Victoria (and then having to get off and wait an hour for the next train because my beloved Rupert Sanderson shoe had fallen onto the tracks).
1 tonne of lead piping, worn internally.