Oh god, everyone hates me I have become boring and repetitive and self-absorbed and my obsessive, try-hard, people pleasing brain is on the verge of exploding with the horror of it. Please! Don't go! I can still be funny, honest. It's just, there is Stuff that is ongoing in the Waffledome, as I have mentioned. The Stuff is taking up a considerable part of my head. And the Stuff that is ongoing cannot be written about. Apart from anything else, if I write about the Stuff, they we have to talk about what I have written about the Stuff and on we go in a dismal, cannibalistic cycle until we both get Stuff CJD (thanks Trish).
So. I have still got it, I promise. Or perhaps I haven't, but I can get it back! Look! *Emma performs a frankly pathetic little dance of craven insecurity*
Just, select a topic from the list below and I will write something funny about it in the manner of a performing seal. It's hell being this insecure, I tell you.
3. Academics' children
4. Gwyneth's latest Goop missive which features DETOX. Again.
Or alternatively, I could write rude biscuit poetry using Finger's new biscuit printing set.
The choice is yours! I crave your approval like the fawning, spiritual only child I am.