Wednesday, 1 July 2009


I had a perfectly nice day today, so I have nothing to whine and bitch about. It's an unfortunate, but thankfully rare, interruption to normal programming. I am sure tomorrow, with its promise of a family trip on the train to Antwerp, to visit Kai Mook the baby elephant, will not disappoint.

Instead let me tell you this.

My very best friend, Violet, the one:

- who is terrified of hedgehogs, and needles and the QUEEN of returning things to shops;

-who makes lists and lists and lists of lists and the most beautiful homemade Christmas cards;

- who loves the Ben Folds Five and ginger shapes from Bettys and jasmine tea;

- who has photos of me wearing a giant single leopard print wooden earring, a Liberty print waistcoat, leggings and a tie of my father's at the village hall in Tockwith;

- who once dressed up as Pigling Bland in needlecord knickerbockers despite being the ultimate fashion icon and an object of widespread veneration at quaker school (and incidentally still being the most beautifully artlessly stylishly dressed woman imaginable);

- with whom I spent three weeks in Italy aged 19, both of us eating nothing but Galak bars and ending up in an apartment without doors with a precocious toddler with a fecal retention problem, a depressive mute English woman with a fondness for roasting radicchio until it looked like a dead mouse, and an ancient vomiting, incontinent cat;

- who was THERE when I fell off a bike because I tried to look at a cow;

- with whom I spent 2 years sharing a pleasant obsession about a man in a van who worked for the 'House the Plumbers' on Monk Gate in York because he looked a little like Gary Speed:

(Violet, I have included this picture for you, but urgh, why did we like him so much? Blind Leeds United loyalty? Because he looked marginally less like a donkey than the rest of the team? I was quite short sighted and he was always very very far away on the pitch. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).

- who makes me laugh until I ache all over all the time. Even when I am not tormenting her about her project on OWL PELLETS and she is not telling me about her colleague who believes that very economical fish called 'gonad' can be obtained from 'Arrods or when men's grey slip-on shoes are mentioned;

has had her baby.


A boy.

There was a whole lot more to this, about how strange it feels to be projected back seven years to lying eye to baleful newborn eye with my firstborn. The dazed, trench warfare terror and boredom. But no, this is the moment for me to shut the fuck up and just say how very very happy I am for her, and the Ginger menace and their new baby who has really lucked out with the most wonderful mother imaginable.

(The Ginger Menace is pretty great too, but he's not holding any photos of me in Pat Butcher earrings)


justme said...

How lovely! Will you be god(less)mother? Congratulations. Babies are always awesome, and best friends babies are totally wonderful. Have some champagne. x

KSV Woolfoot said...

Congratulations to Violet. I know she will be glad, even more glad than she has been heretofore, to have a friend like you now.

Margarita said...

Aww congratulations to Violet!! Very cute memories ;)

screamish said...

yay for violet! Yeah its funny how childbirth is screaming heebie jeebie terror life or deat, and at times, really boring.

She's lucky to have such an adoring best friend! when mine were born my best friend had just fallen big time in love and a year later she's still awol.

i hate to encourage you but bizarrely enough i just got sent this link by someone who knows nothing about your blog...

bevchen said...

Congratulations to Violet. Babies are great.

Julia Ball said...

That is so lovely and what a wonderful post :-)

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Completely Alienne said...

Congratulations to Violet - brought back the shock of finding myself face to face with a bawling red faced newborn! And lovely to read happy things from you too!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I like that, godless mother! Goddess mother too!

Congratulations to dahlink Violet, and bises to you x

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Anonymous said...

That guy is cute!! I'm reading your blog from the beginning and torn between wanting to yum it all up in an all night waffle orgy and delaying the pleasure by savouring it like an emotionally intelligent person.
Loving it anyway.