I don't suppose you will be terribly surprised that I am going to let you down and show you the Belgian election videos you have expressly pleaded with me not to show you. But they are wonderfully Belgian and I am still in a stew of ennui and gloom and cannot be trusted to form sentences which don't include reference to WOE. Also, I have changed the background colour so I DO LISTEN. Sort of. When it suits me.
First, the Greens who have added subtitling to an episode of (not even remotely) cult German import detective series, Derrick. The CFO's granny watches this every week, alternating with the virtually identical 'Renard'.
For the benefit of non French speakers, the subtitles go something like:
- So you're on the pull instead of out canvassing?
- I am just explaining to her how to create loads of green jobs
- She looks fascinated
- And how to insulate homes
- Are you seduced?
- Great! She's gone to vote!
- No, but the manifesto is great. They have 29 years of experience. Give me that pamphlet.
- Have you heard about the plan to create lots of employment opportunities in Brussels that can't be delocalised?
- No, should I?
- It's very good news for Brussels
- Would you like a drink?
The second one, from a centrist MR candidate, needs little or no explanation. It is just some crazy bastard running through fountains SET TO THE BAYWATCH THEME TUNE.
I love this. It makes me happy. I want to emulate him, especially at the Square du Petit Sablon, which is seconds from work. I would, if it weren't for the forbidding parkies who lurk in their tiny shed behind a bush and leap out to mutter at you reproachfully you look at the grass in the wrong way.
Now. Enough of Belgian politics. Tell me something delightful or disturbing about your weekend. I am saving my lowest moment of the weekend for Confession, which I will be hosting here this coming Friday. I hope you will all be disgustingly bad for me.