Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Executive summary

Today summarised (briefly. the children are behaving like the hounds of hell)

Their Finest Hour and a Half (lent by Mrs Trefusis). Just finished. Very fine. Recommended.

Crap. Still. No lunch but I found a Grany (!) biscuit covered in dog hair found on back seat of car and ate that. It was horrible.

Dirty but flattering Balenciaga Brick Lane off back of a lorry black trousers. Pierre Hardy for Gap black flats, soon to be regrefully consigned to the bin with their red companions. Ella Moss black jumper with a frill and a looooow neckline. Used to look great when I weighed as much as ten year old. Now gives outrageous, disgusting, obscene cleavage. Which comes in handy, see 'Doing' below. Fatima liked it. This is the only time she's ever commented on anything I've ever worn. I am keeping well out of Damien's way.

Driving all day, backwards and forwards in infernal loops around Brussels (to the handwriting lady, to infant kickbox (horribly funny. ANYTHING GOES. They were sticking fingers in each others' eyes and everything), to 'bricolage', to the shops) . Gah, the traffic, the idiots, me being an idiot. The traffic again.

Trying to park. Crying. Parking in front of garage doors. Flashing chest in the hope of not getting screamed at. Getting told 'T'ennerve pas' (calm down) by an eye rolling 7 year old.

Walking round Delhaize in a mildly erotic reverie. Mmm! Food, I remember you. Buying food to sacrifice to the fridge gods.

Procrastinating. Emailing. Thinking bad thoughts. Grinding my teeth.

Ear worming:

Ting Tings - Traffic Light. This is my version of synesthaesia. Weirdly appropriate songs appear, unbidden in my head. I especially appreciated the line "Let's not have a breakdown" in this earworm. Yes. Wouldn't that be nice. Unfortunately Ting Tings, IT'S WEDNESDAY. Wednesday and I have history.
The Space Cadette has proper synesthaesia, have I ever mentioned that? I'll have to get her to remind me about it. It always makes me laugh with delight. I remember Fingers is sort of orangey yellow and red.


JESUS! Seriously I mean it. If I hear you shouting at each other ONCE AGAIN I am taking the Wii and putting it in the bin.

Join in. Add your own category if you like. I have about a tenth of a brain cell today, this is bargain basement blogging at its cheapest and nastiest.


Sinda said...


I am getting in the car and LEAVING! If your lunch isn't packed/shoes aren't on/teeth aren't brushed/body isn't lcothed I don't care - your're coming AS IS!

Just about every morning...

Sinda said...

You know I meant clothed, right? Was too excited to proof.

M. said...

Reading: Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. Murakami, you continue to FREAK ME OUT.
Also many, many, tedious emails.

Eating: Noodle soup with kimchi dumplings. Spicy happy healthy easy goodness. Then a lump of cheese to cancel it out. We must have balance.

Wearing: Yesterday's extreme cleavage t-shirt, now stained with noodle slurps. Thermal leggings. Frog socks. The glamour, it never ends.

Doing: Not answering emails, not doing work, not doing my accounts, not having a bath.

Ear worming: I don't know what this means but it sounds DISGUSTING.

Saying: Shhhh.

fabhat said...

Okay, here's what sounds glamorous(ish) but isn't. Pretend that photographers are children and shoots are birthday parties and it's pretty much the same as me having 8 children (and me only 34...)

Day started with trying to organise photographers to turn up in the right place with portfolios. Sucessfully done after a disproportionate number of emails/texts/calls.

Two big jobs happening simaltaneously - one for hair, one for corporate. Corporate one is in a mittle european country. Makes things a bit more complicated.Organising delivery of lighting to mittle europe and soothing photographer who is going to be travelling all day sunday.

Hair shoot requires models who will have hair cut and coloured. Model agencies not keen. Only model keen for cut/colour turns up to casting coked off face...

Trying to arrange diary of photog who works in three countries, nay three continents...he also has two other agents. we fight over his time like children with a dolly. no one has broken him yet - although the workload he has when in UK may cause him some lasting damage.

I have to ring all model agencies again as when they told me the salient info re models availability I drew lots of arrows and squares and nothing useful

husband is not at work this week...but on holiday at home while I am at work. We fight over the computer like children over a puppy, or even a baby panda that needs rolling.

That is all.

The Spicers said...

I have synesthaesia! Would love to hear about your sister's.
As for my day, it began with a 2 1/2 hour meeting with lawyer, which is never fun (no offense).
Now to the dreaded post office to wait in incredibly slow line and ship eBay stuff that I've just sold at a loss, but never wore anyway so what can you do?
Then it's time to scrounge up some food and pick up my two ravenous, feral children from school, allow them to play on Webkinz for an hour or so while I play on the Internets...the excitement never ends!

Mrs Jones said...

Ooh, now I've actually had a really rather lovely day today. A new shop that's opening in Midhurst, Hants (home to Cowdrey Park with its polo and stuff) has agreed to stock my jewellery, and I delivered it today! Shop's called 'Black Sheep', it's at 8 West St, Midhurst & opens on 16 May. Carolyn, the lovely owner, is going to be running knitting workshops and selling fabulous wools of all colours & composition, together with items made by local craftspeople. The wool wallhangings/rugs are stunning as are the ceramics and wooden bowls & lamps from local reclaimed wood. I've offered to do workshops on 'Making your own jewellery Xmas presents' later in the year too. Plus it was sunny & warm today, probably up to 70 degrees so I came home & pottered in the garden sowing veg seeds and handfeeding the robin some live mealworms. Altogether almost a perfect day! Now if I can just get someone to make my dinner & pour me wine, I can die contented...

G said...

"Which part of 'do not squirt the water pistol in my face' do you not understand?"

Me + 2 kids + 3 water pistols = over-ambitious

Chantal said...

At work, every. single. day:

'Oh for FUCK'S SAKE!!!"

Like today, when I found out two delegates who are coming to a meeting tomorrow, and whom (who? whom?) I am booking hotels for, are bringing their husband and father (!) respectively, and staying an extra night to boot. Well done ladies, that's less than 24 hours' notice you've given me there to find hotel rooms in London at the weekend.

WV is 'houra' - VW, I don't need your sarcasm right now.

katyboo1 said...

How about: 'Oscar? Do you need a pooh? Oscar? Let's try for a wee shall we? Oh, Oscar? I am a little bit disappointed in you...' on continuous loop for eternity.

That's about the size of it.

screamish said...

MUM!!!!! Chantal said a rude word!!

nappy valley girl said...

I have synesthaesia too. Wednesday is orange. And I will also always associate it with having double general science at school, which I hated. So not the best day, by a long shot.

Doing: packing (finally). Involves throwing stuff in bin bags. Chucking out things I haven't worn for 5 years. Strangely cathartic. Also downloading songs from iTunes for my leaving do. Enjoying latter as it is excuse to escape from packing.

Waffle said...

Back for the rest of you shortly but Katyboo, the phrase is caca osCAR? or pipi osCAR? followed closely by BONBON. It's a total winner. You're welcome.

Waffle said...

Sinda - if it were me I would be so spitty and incoherent it would probably sound exactly like lcothed.

M - you don't know what an ear worm is? It's like one of those white person dreadlocks IN YOUR EAR CANAL.

fabhat - yes, sorry it does sound glamorous. Exhausting, but glam. Thank you though, I needed a bit of a thrill.

Iheart - really? Have you ever written about it? I am totally fascinated by it. TELL ME MORE. No offence taken. Our meetings are humming with confined tedium. It's slightly scary.

Mrs Jones - you beat Wednesday! Well done.

G - WAY too many words. Surely a bellowed NO! might be more effective?

Chantal - can you get any fun by putting them in the skankiest, vilest hotels imaginable? That travelinn on euston road always looks a treat.

NVG - you must be ever so slightly climbing the walls. So soon! Aaaah. Stupid, orange Wednesday.

Kim Velk said...

Avoiding: Cooking dinner. Second night in a row of frozen pizza. (Well, I did put it in the oven before giving it to the kids).

Deciding: That my children may look back on this period of their lives and decide they were internet orphans. Also, to continue hopping around to read a few more blogs.

GingerB said...

Frozen lasagne tonight, and I am excited! The slowest lawyer in the world will fuck my day tomorrow. I want to go where Mrs. Jones was.

Potty Mummy said...

Am not going to bore you with details of my pedestrian day, but I have given you an award, which I hope is far more entertaining.

Jo said...

I haven't posted on here before but have been avidly following and loving your blog. Noted the comment about Synaesthesia - it's brilliant. I have it and life is literally a blur of colour - letters and numbers mostly - but synaesthetes never agree, so I shall keep schtum about Fingers being orangey-yellow and red - there's a lot of white in there too!!

Waffle said...

Ah, but Jo, you don't know his real name. Email me and we can see what colour you think it is (I'm totally bloody fascinated by it. Have you read that book? Uh, that's descriptive isn't it? [goes to check] Painting Ruby Tuesday. Jane Yardley. Very good)

lisahgolden said...

Nervous tic - while sitting at my desk flicking the corner of a brick of post it notes. Good thing I'm alone or the sound would likely drive someone to kill me.

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