This is one I prepared earlier, stocking up posts for the looong May Bank Holiday weekend at the place where obsessive compulsive comes to get ideas. I stole it from Antonia.
1. Are you a male or female: Eh? Isn't it obvious? Was it the baldness that confused you?
2. Describe yourself: Entirely residing in my own head. Shy, with tiny but tenacious arrogant streaks. Great, abiding love of ridiculousness, and furry things.
3. How do you feel about yourself: Irritated, frustrated, hyper critical. Like a mentally abusive spouse.
4. Describe your parents: Huge over-achievers. Both from poor backgrounds, brought up in council houses, first in their family to go to university, both Professors.
Father: very important bearded scientist about whom I must not talk too much due to importantness. One day I will want to write a looong memoir about our relationship which is tangled and odd but rather a delight in parts. When he retires, if he ever does. Used to live entirely surrounded with peculiar animals - two goats, an escaped circus dog called Ratty, chickens, ferrets and a rabbit called Heraclitis - and drive a Smiths Crisp van. Misspent youth. Now terribly proper, but still secretly delighted by furry things, like me.
Mother: professor of social policy with particular focus on social, emotional and economic outcomes for unpaid carers, including child carers. Passionate about social justice. Glaswegian. Loved music, beautiful clothes, poetry, dancing on tables. Weakness for crisps. Very very soft skin. I miss the feel of it against my cheek almost more than anything else. Once sent me a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers to Oxford (where I had been endlessly, grimly miserable) with the message "Nearly time to come out Persephone". Damn, I just made myself cry.
5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriends: ha, barely existent. They date from the time that dinosaurs roamed the earth. Only one of note:
Chris - student teacher to my 6th form student, and great love. Used to leave tiny slips of paper with typed (! I told you it was ages ago) messages on them hidden in my study which was breathtakingly romantic aged 17. Drove me around North Yorkshire to obscure pubs to get me drunk. Dumped me unceremoniously after about a year. Had a giant protruding jaw.
Also, Nick (First) - buck teeth, Yorkshire lothario and Karim (spoilt me for normal relationships by being a holiday romance in Casablanca. Drove me around Morocco. Desperately romantic. Short lived).
6. Describe your current boy/girl situation: CFO, beloved of these pages. French, 39, quite short, rather handsome, far neater and more virtuous than me.
7. Describe your current location: hideous back room, overlooking garden, home of piano, tortoises, crayons and currently a layer of brightly coloured plastic crystals used for making bouncy balls yesterday. Fingers is sharpening crayons painstakingly opposite me, Lashes is watching Pokémon. Oscar is roaming around wishing someone would take him out. The back yard looks nice though - this is its one week of the year to look good. Still some magnolia, lilac, the strange yellow tree is flowering, and our gigantic weed collection is lushly green. Did I just talk about gardening? Please kill me now.
8. Describe where you want to be: Tea at the Wolesley with Violet, Claridges Bar in good shoes. Bettys with my mum. On a pony. Liberty with money to burn.
9. Your best friend(s) is/are: terribly patient. Funny. Compassionate. As self-critical as I am.
10. Your favourite colour is: GREEN. So the children tell me repeatedly. In fact, for clothes, black. For shoes, red.
11. You know that: It's a Phase. It's always a phase.
12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: Let's not face the music, but hide in bed instead. It wouldn't be much fun.
13. What is life to you: Very perplexing indeed, veering between terrifying and joyful often in the same hour.
14. What is the best advice you have to give: Buy lots of pairs of scissors, small plastic bags and lots of stamps. Great for giving the illusion of being organised.
Try it yourself and give me the link in the comments. I'm curious.