Well, first darling, I accepted a very silly, hysteria inducing childish online dare from Mrs Trefusis that will probably get me into heaps of trouble. No, I'm not telling you any more about it, because you'll shout at me. Then I spent a lot of time researching the dare and putting it into action. If I allow it to, it will probably suck up most of my time for the next week or so, and you will hear me childishly snickering from the back room as you watch tv. That will be annoying, won't it?
Then I worked on my dare from We Are Dinosaurs (have meeting on corridor of ennui with inflatable dinosaurs, etc.). Oscar is far from impressed with the dinodog outfit.
We are going to have to do a lot better. Also, did you throw those inflatable dinosaurs away? Because I need them.
How did we keep him still? Oh, parma ham.
I also entirely failed to follow through on the sentence you imposed on Lashes this morning, that if he stayed off school with "sore throat" he must spend the day in bed. I mean, seriously? You can't say that unless you're the one who has to enforce it. No fair! After the ninety eighth pathetic fluting query as to whether the morning was over, I cracked. So yes, while I wrote a piece of nonsensical fluff about why I need a robot double which will probably earn us about €11, he had tv. Even though he's almost certainly faking and seems fine and was mostly worried about his dictée. Lunch? He had Pringles, 4 chocolate biscuits, a few grapes and some gummy worms. I ate your flan. Sorry. We had lots of fun watching Oscar roll a grape around the house though. You should really try it.
After that, we did Lashes' homework and he was pretty rubbish, but somehow I ended up agreeing to buy him a rare Pokemon card if he read 10 sentences. He did. So we tried to buy the card, but you wouldn't BELIEVE how expensive it was, so I am sort of hoping he forgets, which is never going to happen. So I am pretty much screwed.
What's that? I obviously haven't washed, I'm wearing the trousers of death and no bra? Yeah. That's right. I have no pants on and I haven't brushed my teeth either, actually, because I kept thinking I'd have time to wash, but I was too busy with the stupid dares. It was fun though! Who needs to wash?
Dinner? Um, no idea. Shall we see if there's anything in the freezer? Or, um, there's a tin of tuna I think. Or pizza? Cheese on toast? Can I just leave you to it? I have to see if I can find the dinosaurs.
How was your day, darling?
But the great thing is, today the CFO went to buy a motorbike, so he won't care.
What are you hiding from your loved ones tonight?