Things I found in my bed this morning:
1 hardback, 2 paperback books
Glass bottle of scent
Pokémon limbs (assorted)
Packet of anti-inflammatories
3 t-shirts (dirty)
Two extra children's duvets
Vanessa Bruno dress
Packet of Sinutab
Seventeen stuffed animals including near lifesized crocodile
Stick on cossack beard
1 pair children's socks (dirty)
It's a big bed, admittedly. But still. Also, I saw a large spider was living in my water glass last night but could not bear to deal with it. It is not there this morning. I probably drank it.
Photo sickness check
Has it totally nailed.
Not so much.
E: Do me a sick face, Fingers
F: Mais je ne sais pas comment faire
E: This is precisely my issue with you being here today AGAIN
Me? Why thank you for asking! Here I am in the capacious Bed of Death:
We shall never get to Moscow.
(nb. Inadvertently displaying birth control pills very prominently. The universe is telling me something and I TOTALLY AGREE)
The best Freecycle ad ever, discovered by Violet
Wanted: Mouse cage for rescued shrew! Please help! :) SE4
E: I would suggest a colander. Or perhaps a sock?
V: Indeed. A cage would never hold something that small.
E: This advert raises many questions for me. Like, how?
V: Moving very quickly, I imagine.
Those of you who enjoyed Grit and my Savoy cabbages are going to LOVE SueBob's canteloupe. I have suggested we make this a regular feature. Anyone else who wishes to expose the shameful contents of their fridge to the world, just let me know. It will be like a carnival of shame!
Today, I give you this:
Though also, obviously, this:
Tortoise beats rotting veg. Any day. Bring it on, fridge criminals!