Friday, 28 November 2008

Desert Island don'ts

I've got nothing tonight. Nothing. But NaBloPoMoFo oblige, so I'm doing Katy's Desert Island discs Meme. For those who didn't spend their dismal, seventies Sunday mornings listening to Desert Island Discs and wishing they were dead, it's was a radio programme where a celebrity (fairly widely defined - on really bad days it might be a cricket umpire or similar) chose the 8 pieces of music they would take with them to a desert island, along with one book (excluding the Bible and Shakespeare - provided) and one luxury item (no humans or escape oriented tools, or, I think, anything permitting you to communciate with the outside world - correct, pedants?).

Firstly, let me say the first thing I would do on a desert island would be fall into a deep and impenetrable depression because - oh my fucking god, give me the sweet oblivion of death. That's worse than the worst kind or rural outrage my parents used to perpetrate on me. Well, maybe not worse than the island of Eigg, because really, nothing could be. It was a living death. But definitely worse than, for instance, Ardnamurchan, or the Lake District. At least there was some prospect of escape, fudge and the odd tea room. I hate places with no shops. And caf├ęs. And pollution. Oh, and do you remember I hate sand? So, my musical choices are correspondingly upbeat, in general. To snap me out of it. Ha. As if.

I've assumed we're talking singles for pop. Albums is too easy, and also cheating.

1. The Primitives - Crash. Perfect 2 minute bouncy pop. It's a bit wasteful to choose something so short but it has this fantastic opening that you just can't help flailing around to. It reminds me of being, like, fifteen or something, but the good bits. The bits about spending every Saturday in Rough Trade records on Goodramgate looking at obscure EPs and feeling terribly grown up and having all that hope and crazy ambition and thinking that something AMAZING is on the verge of happening to you (but in fact spending the day - and, indeed, whole years - slumping around the house and eating custard in front of Casualty).

2. Pulp - Common People. Again, it's up-tempo pop with an bit of an edge. And I love Jarvis Cocker's voice. And it's so very English. It's the kind of grubby, sarky English that I worship.

3. Bob Marley - African Herbman I agonised about what Bob Marley to take. Every one in my family loves Bob, three generations worth of us. I warn you, I'll probably come back and change track, like, five hundred times. The CFO had a crappy old bootleg tape with just the best early Bob Marley on it when we first me, and sadly we've lost it and I can't find a replacement with the same track listing. Dammit! Anyway; even though the Space Cadette hates this one, it reminds me of finally having something in common with this bizarre small French person who kept insisting on taking me out on bizarre non-dates to DIY shops and for lunch with his Grandma and speaking to me in appalling broken English.

4. The Strokes - Sometimes. There had to be something from Is This It. They're all great for thrashing around your bedroom/desert island to, pretty much, but this just edges it over New York City Cops.

5. Joni Mitchell - Carey Blue is the album, the piece of music that reminds me most of my mum. I couldn't listen to it for a long time after she died, and the CFO put it on one day in Paris and suddenly I heard Little Green blasting out and I just collapsed in a heap. It's funny - it's not what she listened to most; she listened to more classical music, but I think it reminds me of when she was younger and I was tiny and she listened to Joni, and Joan Armatrading and Emmylou Harris and the rest and was full of youth and optimism and free lurve whilst still being my mum. She would have been about my age, I think when she was listening to this, so it's resonant now, but it's also my childhood wrapped up in a song. So I love it.

6. Regina Spektor - On the Radio Just because she's great, and mental and funny and this is fantastic song. And the Space Cadette introduced me to Regina Spektor. AND Vampire Weekend. Yes, without my sister I would still be living in 1986. Vampire Weekend just lost out here. It was such a close call between this and Walcott, but I've got loads of thrashy guitar pop already.

7. Jack Johnson - Damn, this was hard too. Mudfootball, Taylor or Flake? Something from Brushfire Fairytales anyway. Argh. Bubble Toes. Maybe. For that lyric that goes "When you move like a jellyfish, rhythm don't mean nothing you go with the flow you don't stop'. Again, this is going to keep me up all night. The CFO is already tutting and saying "they aren't REALLY sending you do a desert island. Unfortunately".

8. Nina Simone - Ain't Got No (I got life) live. Incredible voice, incredible energy. It's got this totally irresistible energy towards the chorus and it just builds and builds orgasmically. I haven't found a version as good as mine (Lady Blue In Concert) to link to and I think without this version you just won't get it. I sound like such a wanker don't I. This is the song, but without the mad energy.

Obviously, I could agonise over this for ever. I am forcing myself to stop. And I keep saying "energy" don't I? I think I am hoping that if I type the word often enough I will get some by osmosis. At least enough to get up off the sofa of evil and go to bed.

Ok. Um, book. Yeah, that's going to be so much easier. Bollocks. I want a Nancy Mitford anthology. Yeah, I might as well get real. I'll want descriptions of frivolous nonsense on this stupid island and not a dissection of nineteenth century anomie ( The Man Without Qualities, I'm looking at your dusty abandoned form).

Luxury. My bed. I'm going to be catatonic with despair, I might as well do it in comfort. I love my bed. Mmm. Bed. Imagine me in my island hell, alternating between ineptly moshing around to guitar based pop and weeping in my vast comfortable bed, made out of luxury marshmallow fluff. Bed. Now there's a good idea.

I nominate anyone who fancies it, as ever, but Marie, I think you should because of being into music and all, innit. Belette? You might enjoy it too.

Please, let this never happen to me. Please?


justme said...

LOL! I bet you will be SO glad when November is over........and I will be too....cos your posts will not be so haunted!!! that rude? I mean, I love them anyway, but this posting every day thing has clearly been stressful........despite the fact that you mostly (thankfully!) post every day anyway?
Ummm....might be a bit tipsy....please excuse... xx

Mr Farty said...

Joni Mitchell is ace, thanks for that. Also, I've never been a big fan of The Blur, but that one hits the spot.

Cheers, m'dear!

katyboo1 said...

Na na na na na, Na na na na na naaaah we're going to craaaaashh! Fantastic. I used to love this song. A LOT.

I too prefer the urban jungle, and mostly shops. If I lived on an island I would have to weave Harvey Nicks out of palm fronds or something and hallucinate floridly that I was buying furniture in Heals just to survive.

Jaywalker said...

justme - me too. Drunkblogging my way through November. La la

Mr F - confusing blur with pulp would have got you stabbed in the mid ninties i think. thank goodness now children only stab you for important stuff!

Katyboo - yes. Please let it never happen. I am going to have nightmares now...

Mr Farty said...

Blur, Pulp, whatever. I never could remember which was which.


Potty Mummy said...

Right, that's the second mention of Regina Spector I've come across in two days (and the first was a printed, not blog reference). I am off to that lovely shop known as I-tunes to buy it now...

KMcJoseph said...

I prefer "Dessert" island. It's a wonderful place.

mountainear said...

Since you asked:
Totally with your mum on Joni Mitchell.( But Hummels's Mandolin concerto would be there too.)

Book would probably be 'I Capture the Castle' or 'Cannery Row'.

Pochyemu said...

I loovvee your music choices.

I totally concur.

(NB. I took your challenge, although it took me aaaggeess to decide on everything. I took this very seriously because I'm very bored. So thanks!)

peevish said...

Yes to Joni (and Blue is quite her best, though I love Court & Spark as well), and Regina (my favorite song is That Time), and Nina Simone (Mississippi Goddamn!).

I hope your bed is everything you want it to be tonight. I'm off to get one good night's sleep (I hope) before we get back in the car to drive approximately 820 miles back home. With the children. I wonder if our goldfish are still alive.

Persephone said...

Spooky. I've just had a Joni Mitchell moment over at my blog. But look, if you're struggling with NaBloPoMoFo stuff (in November, yet! Are you nuts?), may I gently point out that I tagged you for a meme over a month ago? Just sayin'...

nappy valley girl said...

With you on Common People. Jarvis is a rock god. x

Joy said...

I would hate that so much, too! Being somewhere with no people, no electricity, no shops, no comforts, and way off alone would be hell! I would want to be away from there as soon as possible!

Yes, dessert island! Good idea!

Mom/Mum said...

That's so funny! i hope if i get to be stuck on a desert island i can have your music cos we're a match made in discs!

Jaywalker said...

PM - Is splendid. I love her rolled 'r' when she says 'styrofoam'.

KMcJ - Mmm. Yes. I wouldn't need music at all.

Mountainear - I capture the castle is a good choice too.

Peevish! Hello! I hope holiday was good and goldfish survived. Or at least ate each other cleanly.

Persephone - Yes, you did and I looked at the picture but it was SO boring and had already been used here. I thought about lying. I still might.

Joy - quite right. Sand is totally overrated.

Mom/Mum - yay! we could share a desert island. I won't be much fun though, what with the catatonic depression.

G said...

Do you remember the name of the lead singer of the Primitives? I'll buy you a car if you do. Sorry, I meant a cat. A cap. Whatever, you'll only Google it, so I withdraw the offer. It was 'Tracy Tracy'. Isn't that just the epitome of 80s cool? I wonder if she still calls herself that name. Might be a bit tricky when she's on the phone to an outsourced british gas customer customer services assistant.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. I had a Jarvis experience! I was on a lunch break once and found myself walking behind Mr Cocker and a companion, who were strolling around Leicester Square. He was pontificating about barometers. I wasn't stalking. I was eating a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich.


ps Good choices, but you were wrong about Sometimes - New York City cops is the better of the two.

La Belette Rouge said...

Fun meme game. Merci for the tag!!I always love an opportunity to wax poetic on Morrissey!:-)

Jaywalker said...

G- pff. You owe me a car/t/n

Belette - I await! How will you fare on a desert island?

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