Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Birthday affirmations

I am a beautiful, desirable woman.

I am in my prime.

My body is like a beautiful machine.

I exude a mysterious, sophisticated sensuality.

Nothing is as beautiful as a confident, self-assured woman.

Did I mention that I am the same age as Kate Moss? And Penelope Cruz?

I am maturing like a fine wine, opening like a beautiful flower. This is my time!

Happy birthday to me!


bonnie-ann black said...


happy birthday Jaywalker -- many, many more! wishing the years ahead increase in style, class and money for you!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, you slinky minx.

You are totally my favourite person I don't know.

Alice xx

expateek said...

Happy Birthday, girlfriend.

You deserve the best... give yourself a huge hug. Please do love thyself.

I can't think of another person "that I don't know" that I have such good thoughts for.

Preposition at end of sentence. Very very bad. Sorry 'bout that, but you know what I mean!!

Happy birthday.

Promise me you'll cut yrself some slack in the coming year, hear?

Red Shoes said...

Just so you know, in the sort of subculture I come from? Your bald head, beautiful green eyes, glowing skin and disdainful sneer are considered ultra desirable. High style. Back in the day, we tried to make happen what you've got going naturally, so...

Zed said...

Happy birthday Em - I may even offer one of the yams that I'm buying from you on Friday. We shall have a drink for your birthday. And I'll pay.

Just pleeeeeeeeease, not pink champagne or anything too expensive. (Do you like water? Tap water?)

Persephone said...

Wow! Gloriana! Many happy returns from Canada. Well not from Canada, because, as far as I know, you've never been to Canada, so you can't return from there... (Pause. Regroup.) Uh, it's me, in Canada, wishing you many happy returns of the day. Or, as my word verification toasts you on your birthday: Chook!

Anonymous said...

You appear to be made of awesome.

Rock on.

Pochyemu said...

Haaappppyyy biiirrrffddaaayyy!

That's the least scary set of 'scary me' photos ever. We should do a challenge! Whoever can submit the actual scariest body parts photos gets a bar of chocolate and a month's free online councelling sessions!

Hope you get something nice for your day - just remember, as long as its not wrapped in kitchen towel, it's a GOOD GIFT.

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh or think with everything you write - Hair is entirely overrated.

Happy birthday

Anonymous said...

Bappy hirthday, honey.

And I aspire to look as good as your photos. Mine would have you recoiling in aghast disbelief, were I to actually, you know, take any. I am not planning to insert my body bits in front of the camera anytime soon!

The Spicers said...

Have a wonderful birthday Jaywalker!
Hair IS overrated.

Mr Farty said...

Exacti, as my word ver tells me.

Happy birthday, doll!


Fat Controller said...

Nearly missed the deadline. Happy birthday you young slip of a girl. You vs. Kate Moss? No contest!

katyboo1 said...

Birfday chew etc.

You are fab.

I am plucking up the courage to send a photo of my belly button to you. Once you see it, all your worries will be over. Mine has exploded like a leaky muffin.

Then there's the stomach pouch thing, the multiple op scars, the middle aged acne, white pubic hair. Shall I go on.

No. I don't think so.


Barb McMahon and Alan Mailloux said...

Probably missed the deadline here, so let me be the first to wish you a happy belated birthday. And all the best for the coming year.

You've got style, you've got wit and you write one hell of a great blog.

Now get out there and chiguate (word verification - sounds wonderfully naughty...)

Parisgirl said...

Bon Anniversaire. Sorry, tad late but hope you had a good one.

katyboo1 said...

when you're feelin' all cheerfuller an' that, hop on over to the blog. I've nominated you for my home made meme of wonder

Anonymous said...

You're fabulous.
Happy Birthday.
and DO try to enjoy it!

Marie said...

Many happy returns of the day to you and all your component parts.

Laura Jane said...

An object lesson where the whole is greater then the sum of the parts. And the parts don't look too bad at all. Even in that extraordinary series of photos. You don't scare me!

You look smooth and strokeable. Like an exotic hairless breed.

happy un-birthday (by now)

Kate said...

ha-ha-ha-happy birthday!

Despite trying to take unflattering photos, I think your lips especially look quite lovely.

I emailed you twice. You'll think I'm a stalker.

Anonymous said...

happy, happy b-day -- you masochist!

Unknown said...

You are fabulous. FABULOUS!

(I would kill for your neck, irises and complete lack of blocked pores.)

Hope you had a good day.


Ali said...

Happy Birthday.

You're fabulous and amazing.

I'm glad I found your blog.

karen said...

Happy birthday! You're gorgeous, no matter what you may try to make us believe :) Hope your day was fabulous, and there are many more of them in the future!

PS: there are some odd word verifications come up on your blog - I got 'paysti'

Anonymous said...

You posted early (thank you) but I still didn't get to see iton the same day. It is all 14 year old's fault, she is as clingy as a toddler at the moment and making hay while she can because her elder sister is out every night this week. Belated very happy birthday, I hope you had champagne and stuff and a good time.

There was nothing scary there, though, sweetie - you are pretty normal really. The hair is the only real difference between you and most of us. And I have to admit I have thought about having mine cropped and getting a wig hundreds of times.

You won't have many readers who don't have bloodshot eyes, flaky lips and bulging stomachs! And look on the bright side - at least you aren't grey. Pochyemu's scary body parts competition is a good idea - instead of the village fete, you could have an internet freak show! I think you might need to put a warning up for sensitive viewers.

Juci said...

I was actually a bit disappointed. I was looking forward to seeing some really nasty swollen knee images. Well, anyway, many happy returns of the day to you.
(You are beautiful inside and out. 'Pantiedo'.)

Waffle said...

Ah, you are all so ace. Thank you for your lovely wishes and for saying such amazingly lovely touching things. You made me weepy, but in a good, if snivelly, even redder eyes than on the pictures, way.

You are the best readers an exotic hairless, desirable to the New Orleans lesbian community, chiguater could have.

Red Shoes said...

desirable to the New Orleans lesbian community,

Haha! I don't know about them. Although, yes, certainly. Desirable! But, I was talking about music subculture of my younger days... the industrial/goth/punk, post-apocalyptic, experimental forerunners (not these silly babies who try at it now). Oh, we loved your look. Still do.

Anonymous said...

I hope that you had a great birthday! I enjoy your blog.

P said...

I'm late to the party but wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday, you sex machine, you.

Waffle said...

Hey P - don't worry, there was no party. Just falling downstairs, existential crises and weeping. Your typical birthday. But thank you my dear. You are too kind

You too lovely Amber.

H said...

OMG! When I met you I thought you looked really hot. You ARE really hot. Have you photo-shopped those pictures?
I don't think I ever want to take pictures of my scary bits. No. Not brave enough.


MY GOD but I am glad for blogs, for all the reasons that we both know x 100000.

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ghada said...

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