Me: It's Halloween soon! We'll be in England and we can go to Woolworths and get you a really disgusting mask.
Lashes: And I can say "A sweetie or I hit you with a stick!"
Lashes: A sweetie or I hit you with a stick! "Un bonbon ou un coup de baton!"
Me: Hmm. Actually, in England we say "Trick or Treat"
Lashes: Tit or Treat? Why?
Me: TRICK or Treat.
Lashes: I like the stick better.
Me: I suppose you could go with "Stick or Treat"?
Lashes: No, a sweetie or I hit you with a stick. They might think I was giving them a stick.
Me: Fair enough.
Me: Did you have gym today Fingers? Sorry, Rockettheparrot?
Fingers: Yes. There was a new big ball, like a bowling ball. But with no holes. Mme Pascale wasn't there.
Me: Oh, is she sick?
Fingers (gravely): She is veeeerrry sick. She has a giant verucca. She dropped an enormous bowling ball on her foot and it gave her a verucca as big as my head.
Me: What's that you're reading?
CFO: Hibernation instructions. I have to give the tortoises weekly baths and starve them for a month before they hibernate. And smell their poo to make sure it isn't "offensive".
Me: It always seems pretty offensive to me. Anything else?
CFO: I have to make sure their ears are flat and there is no discharge.
Me: They have EARS? I have never seen ears. Tortoises don't have ears! Do they?
CFO: They are more like holes I think.
Me: So, do we have to hibernate them in the fridge again? Won't it be a bit crowded now we have six?
CFO: Yes, the fridge is best. But they won't take up much space. Apparently the box shouldn't be much bigger than the tortoise. I was thinking we could go to the ice cream shop and ask them for some spare polystyrene boxes.
Me: Polystyrene ice cream hibernation pods. I'll add that to my to do list. So I have to start emptying the vegetable crisper?
CFO: You have a couple of weeks while I complete their health checks. Now get off the computer I need to check the shell length:weight ratios again.
Weer in ur fridj hopefully not daiyin in ur crispur.
Then I went into the kitchen and found this intriguing tableau:
Some kind of 'things in glasses' competition perhaps? Let's look closer.
Glass 1: "an experiment". No further explanation was forthcoming. Oh yes, we are all about exploring the physical universe through the medium of messy, staining, coloured fluids.
Glass 2: avocado stone
Actually, just one is fairly encouraging. The CFO has some long hidden folk memory of growing avocados from stones. I expect it dates from when his parents lived in Guadeloupe. There are always one or two in a state of putrefaction around the house.
Glass 3: crocodile
I have no comment.
What does it all mean? Any theories?