"Third - Talulah does the hula; beautifully executed, bizarrely sexy (for a spring onion)"
"Second - Insalata; I've seen a half-naked vegetable lady. Now I have truly lived. Though I might not be able to eat a carrot ever again the same way".
"First prize - The Angler fish. Not only is it damned well executed, there's a whole story going on there - and there's not just the fish - there's his prey as well and ... oh I don't know. It takes a special kind of talent to make a watermelon scary. "
(The angler fish celebrates with fresh goldfish kill)
"SPECIAL OOPER DOOPER PRIZE goes to the bee. Man, I LOVE that bee. not only is it the cutest of the whole lot of them, and the most edible looking, but it has a killer screw for a sting and, in a true moment of abject failure, no wings. It's a rolling bee. Watch out, it's rolling after you, really slowly, leaving a little grapey trail! It might sting you with its little hurty screw! Oh No!I love that damned bee. Actually I should just come clean about me and bees. I wish I was a bee, and ... Screw it, the bee would get a prize anyway. It's a GREAT BEE. "
Anna, you are wonderful.
Winners, email me at belgianwaffling@gmail.com for Belgian prizes! Go on go on go on. Losers, throw your produce on the compost heap and cry.
10 comments:
In this weasel's eyes they are all winners. I admire Ms. Pickard for being able to narrow down the field. I couldn't have done it.
Quick question about Insalata, now that the contest is complete will dressing be poured on her? I am worried that she is cold.
No one could better Anna's comments, so I won't even try. However i have nominated you for an award over at my place!
Tallulah is really excruciatingly beautiful, is she not? Her expression is so sweet! Insalata just looks hungover, with those bloodshot eyes. The anglerfish is truly terrifying, and awe-inspiring. Anna's paragraph about the wee bee gave me a much-needed laugh (rolling really slowly, hurty screw!). But what about the marrow-dile?
La Bellette: Insalata (who owes her existence to that one unlikely mutant carrot) is luxuriating in the warmth of the compost pile as I type.
Peevish: I am happy to hear that Ensalta is warm in the bosom of her family--perhaps next to a decomposing chili pepper.;-)
Bob the Builder is gutted. He's been banished to the back of a very dark cupboard to contemplate his dodgy moustache and sideburns. The person who made him must be very sick indeed!
You see, I had the bee as kiwi rather than a grape. Clearly am really weird and need to take my contact lenses out after a disgustingly early start. And does it matter anyway? I'm with Anna. Beauty is truth...
fantastic!
ParisGirl - Bob is in the soft stuff class soon to be judged by Antonia! His day may still come! Though, ooh, fierce competition from the Peevish mohair ball. Peevish is sweeping the board at the moment. She may be crowned 'best in show' at this rate and required to wear a large rosette and sash.
Potty Mummy - the idea of a kiwi bee makes me feel a bit odd. I need a lie down too.
Hurrah hurrah! The angler fish will be so pleased...perhaps he'll stop staring at me with his terrifying carrot eyes now.
Woo woo! Go my bee. Just goes to show that anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.
I am truly honoured.
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