Monday, 8 September 2008

A twist of fête

The wonderful Ms Pickard, in the midst of emigrating to San Francisco, fretting about her kittehs and experiencing her first mini earthquake, has rendered her verdict on the veg. Thank you so so much for this Anna! I can do no better than to give you her unedited words, since they are extremely funny.


"Third - Talulah does the hula; beautifully executed, bizarrely sexy (for a spring onion)"





"Second - Insalata; I've seen a half-naked vegetable lady. Now I have truly lived. Though I might not be able to eat a carrot ever again the same way".





"First prize - The Angler fish. Not only is it damned well executed, there's a whole story going on there - and there's not just the fish - there's his prey as well and ... oh I don't know. It takes a special kind of talent to make a watermelon scary. "



(The angler fish celebrates with fresh goldfish kill)

"SPECIAL OOPER DOOPER PRIZE goes to the bee. Man, I LOVE that bee. not only is it the cutest of the whole lot of them, and the most edible looking, but it has a killer screw for a sting and, in a true moment of abject failure, no wings. It's a rolling bee. Watch out, it's rolling after you, really slowly, leaving a little grapey trail! It might sting you with its little hurty screw! Oh No!I love that damned bee. Actually I should just come clean about me and bees. I wish I was a bee, and ... Screw it, the bee would get a prize anyway. It's a GREAT BEE. "


Anna, you are wonderful.

Winners, email me at belgianwaffling@gmail.com for Belgian prizes! Go on go on go on. Losers, throw your produce on the compost heap and cry.

10 comments:

La Belette Rouge said...

In this weasel's eyes they are all winners. I admire Ms. Pickard for being able to narrow down the field. I couldn't have done it.

Quick question about Insalata, now that the contest is complete will dressing be poured on her? I am worried that she is cold.

valley girl said...

No one could better Anna's comments, so I won't even try. However i have nominated you for an award over at my place!

peevish said...

Tallulah is really excruciatingly beautiful, is she not? Her expression is so sweet! Insalata just looks hungover, with those bloodshot eyes. The anglerfish is truly terrifying, and awe-inspiring. Anna's paragraph about the wee bee gave me a much-needed laugh (rolling really slowly, hurty screw!). But what about the marrow-dile?

La Bellette: Insalata (who owes her existence to that one unlikely mutant carrot) is luxuriating in the warmth of the compost pile as I type.

La Belette Rouge said...

Peevish: I am happy to hear that Ensalta is warm in the bosom of her family--perhaps next to a decomposing chili pepper.;-)

parisgirl said...

Bob the Builder is gutted. He's been banished to the back of a very dark cupboard to contemplate his dodgy moustache and sideburns. The person who made him must be very sick indeed!

Potty Mummy said...

You see, I had the bee as kiwi rather than a grape. Clearly am really weird and need to take my contact lenses out after a disgustingly early start. And does it matter anyway? I'm with Anna. Beauty is truth...

JolietJake said...

fantastic!

Jaywalker said...

ParisGirl - Bob is in the soft stuff class soon to be judged by Antonia! His day may still come! Though, ooh, fierce competition from the Peevish mohair ball. Peevish is sweeping the board at the moment. She may be crowned 'best in show' at this rate and required to wear a large rosette and sash.

Potty Mummy - the idea of a kiwi bee makes me feel a bit odd. I need a lie down too.

livesbythewoods said...

Hurrah hurrah! The angler fish will be so pleased...perhaps he'll stop staring at me with his terrifying carrot eyes now.

Helena said...

Woo woo! Go my bee. Just goes to show that anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.
I am truly honoured.