I am just, like, so, so surprised and amazed to have won this award. I mean, I can't believe it! Me, "Woman most likely to bang her head against a wall repeatedly until it splits open"! It's a dream come true! Gosh.
I do have a tonne of people I'd like to thank who have made this possible.
Firstly, can I thank Clocky for once more waking me at 5 am despite being TURNED OFF. That's just, like, amazing dedication and I'm in awe, really I am. I love you Clocky!
Next, my darling darling son Lashes. The way you maintained that I had 'lost' your dead moth* for a full half hour this morning , those tears, that blank defiance, all your clothes put on backwards, your single minded commitment to ensuring we were late for school. You are awesome my darling. I love you so much.
Thanks as ever to the Ecole de Messidor for asking so much of me with such exacting love. 6 passport photos! Triangular pencils! Four rolls of self adhesive paper! Packed lunches for two more whole weeks. And to top it all, the baffling request to 'draw margins' on every page of 4 bulky exercise books. All this by tomorrow. I mean, wow. Without you, I would not have pushed myself to this point.
A really special thank you to the driver of the 92 tram, for speeding away smirking just as I sprinted up to reach you. I mean, what to say. Every single day you come through for me and I have such respect for the hard, hard job you do. Actually, I'd like to extend those thanks to the whole of the STIB without whom these shin splints would not have been possible.
All my hearfelt thanks also go to Muriel and Maike at PowerPlate, for their pinpoint accurate choice of ear worm this morning. The Bay City Rollers "Bye bye baby" four times in a row, followed by "Greased Lightning" - that takes imagination, it takes audacity, and it takes a very special CD collection. These guys have all those things in abundance. I'm proud to know you.
Oh, and of course, I can't possibly go without thanking the zombie hordes of the corridor of ennui. Not only do you push me to the very limit of tedium every day, but you also furnish me with everything I need to poke sharp objects in my eyes. Your generosity knows no bounds. An extra special mention to the person who took me out for a sandwich yesterday and then said "You can consider this your pay rise". Gosh, how we laughed. You know who you are, and you know words just can't describe my debt to you.
I really hope I haven't missed anyone out. God I love you all! Thank you so much!
UPDATE - I'm mortified to realise I failed to mention the pant spiders. Sorry pant spiders!
*I know. But I swear I didn't touch it, and anyway, it was dead when we found it. Honest.