Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Internet, I give you my new friends, Pacific Animation. Call that number. Set your party ON FIRE. Look into Laurent's dead eyes and see true evil.
The 'best of' Pacific Animation:
- The pre-apéritif Michel Sardou performed by Laurent. Six numbers. Laurent and his microphone prowling the concrete hut histrionically giving it his all. BEFORE we got any alcohol.
- The audience participation song about Pacific Animation:
"Waltz, disco, rock, slow dancing; it's very varied
But my problem is I don't know how to dance
She asked me if I wanted to do the twist
I said "Cherie, I am not Johnny Hallyday"
At that moment, I don't know why
I saw an act I didn't know
I have fun
With my friend Pacific Animation"
- The audience participation song about cheese:
Before dessert my mother in law
Ate bread with Boursin in! in!
My father in law, before he kissed her
Preferred to drink more wine
At our wedding
There is plenty of cheese eh! eh!
On the platter, near the knife
Take a piece of Neuchâtel
I could go on. Really. There were about 8 verses. We stole the song sheet and hid it in my handbag for posterity and so that I could prove to myself that I wasn't actually hallucinating. Only in Normandy, my friends.
- The 1am '80s and accordeon disco slot. Before the main course arrived.
(Hello? Did you get that? 1am and all we had had to eat was sugared almonds and a seafood mousse mound thing so disturbing that only the truly starving managed to eat it. "But, but, it's sweet! And fishy! And coated in jelly! Ak!" "Listen, it's after midnight and not even the children have been fed. I strongly recommend you eat it")
- The part where Laurent took a break during the accordeon disco (to chew the bones of babies, presumably) and his evil assistant took over on the maracas. It was awesomely sinister. I will never look at maracas in the same way again.
At about 4am (we left before cheese and dessert), as we lay in empty dread on the red nylon cover of the chambre d'hôte bed, the CFO started semi-insistently stroking my leg.
"Oh my god. I can't believe you can think about sex at a time like this. I'm telling you, any sexual or erotic impulse I may have ever have had has gone. Turned to stone. I will never have sex again after watching that video of your brother appearing to date rape his fiancée"
"I need to feel like I'm alive again. Exorcise the horror. Please?"
"No. I just can't. Laurent has destroyed me. Think about Michel Sardou. The impulse will pass. "
"Do you still love me after tonight?"
"I don't know. Ask me tomorrow."
"I am so sorry"