Friday, 15 August 2008

Out of office

Dear internet,

I am currently:

(i) in the country (remember how much I love the country?);

(ii) in the house of certain death (open sewers! electric fences! perilously slippy stone staircases! rusting agricultural machinery!);

(iii) looking after 4 children under 6;

(iv) with the Bearded One whose idea of childcare is to give everyone a pitchfork and fall asleep after several whiskies. And shout if anyone wakes him up.

Normal service will resume as soon as I sedate everyone.

Thank you.


La Belette Rouge said...

Sedation is like the oxygen mask on an airplane--first sedate yourself and then sedate others.

Hope you enjoy the country the best you can.

livesbythewoods said...

Sounds dreamy.

To cheer you up, I have made a lovely carved vegetable diorama for the Village Fete. You can see it at

Caution: May alarm those of a nervous disposition. Contains moderate vegetable violence.

Waffle said...

Livesbythewoods - Ouch. That is definitely in the parental guidance required vegetable category. Could you talk me through the raisins (or are they olives)?

Belette - Got caught trying to give unnecessary paracetamol to fingers, just, you know, to take the edge off, and was banned from handling pharmaceuticals all weekend. Curses!

livesbythewoods said...

Aah, the raisins represent charcoal, blown from the barbecue by the carelessly-discarded can of lighter fuel that caused the whole carnage thing.

Which is also how the head got detached from the body.

I am especially proud of the prune wig. It's held on with a cocktail stick, but you wouldn't know it.

Also, the pine nut eyes. When you push one in, the other one bulges out. It's compelling.

Waffle said...

Livesbythewoods - Yes, I see it now. Excellent. It definitely merits long study.

The Accidental Author said...

But Jaywalker, that sounds like my normal life! Off to look at livesbythewoods veggie carnage. VLiF

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