I am currently:
(i) in the country (remember how much I love the country?);
(ii) in the house of certain death (open sewers! electric fences! perilously slippy stone staircases! rusting agricultural machinery!);
(iii) looking after 4 children under 6;
(iv) with the Bearded One whose idea of childcare is to give everyone a pitchfork and fall asleep after several whiskies. And shout if anyone wakes him up.
Normal service will resume as soon as I sedate everyone.