CFO: "I have spiders in my pants"
CFO: "I have spiders in my pants and they have bitten me"
E: "ARE YOU ON DRUGS. You can't have spiders in your pants. You would have felt them scuttling around and weaving webs"
CFO: "I am telling you. I am covered in spider bites all around my pant line and they weren't there this morning when I put the pants on"
E: "But.. spiders? What makes you think this is a spider infestation? Have you encountered these pant dwelling spiders before?"
CFO: "They are very old strange pants"
E: "What, those saggy cycling shorts?"
CFO: "No, worse. They seem to be entirely synthetic. I think my mother may have left them behind"
E: "Spiders with poor taste then"
CFO: "I wonder if they are nesting in my pants drawer?"
E: "You better not go rummaging in there. Clearly these pant spiders are particularly dangerous when roused. I've really enjoyed this conversation, by the way"
CFO "It's no bloody joke. It itches!"
E: "Go on, say it again. "J'ai des araignées dans mon slip". I LOVE it"
CFO: You are not a nice woman.
But I am no longer laughing. Now I have also incurred the wrath of the pant spiders. And Lashes, and Fingers. We are all sporting matching pant line trails of bites. It's really, really disturbing. Pant spider invasion! Au secours!