I am wondering what went on in the fish tank in our absence. On the surface all looks calm, and the survival rate is astonishingly high given they were left alone for two weeks without sustenance (I know, I know. I had a fish feeder lined up alright? But it fell through and I spend two weeks agonising). However one fish has vanished without a trace. There is nothing left of it at all. Nothing, I tell you, nary a fin.
In my head I am imagining a cross between Finding Nemo, Alive and Scott of the Antarctic. A tale of solidarity, self-sacrifice and cannibalism, when ordinary fish become extraordinary. Soon to be a major motion picture featuring:
Citron and Banane
As the selfless hero and his devastated beautiful partner (I am thinking Wentworth, obviously, in a breakthrough cinema role as Citron, and maybe St Angelina as Banane)
Light relief in an unremittingly dark situation. Full of human (fishly?) frailty and humour. Maybe voiced by the actual Pontipines.
Féroce: Fellow fish, as you know, we face a dire situation. The humans have gone, and the food has run out. In order to guarantee the survival of the colony, we require ...
A hush falls on the gathering. No fish can quite look another in the eye.
In mounting awe, everyone watches as Citron swims forward to address the gathering.