Thursday, 5 June 2008

Tram wins

To the American gentleman having the following conversation on his hands free (aka barking into thin air like a lunatic) this morning:

- He just drove straight at me on a pedestrian crossing! Didn't even try to stop. He even gave me a dirty look! You would think there was a law saying he has priority or something!


There is a law. In fact, it is the only law of the road in Brussels that anyone has been able to detect, and it is this:

Tram wins.

Firstly, and for your comfort and safety, understand that the black and white road markings are purely decorative. We think they look pretty. We understand that in your culture they have some other significance, but we are unsure what this may be.

Secondly, imagine the rules of the road as a game of Stone, Scissors, Paper, as follows:

Tram vs car - tram wins
Tram vs bike - tram wins
Tram vs human - tram wins
Tram vs elderly human - tram wins
Tram vs pregnant human - tram wins
Tram vs human infant - tram wins
Tram vs dog - tram wins
Tram vs ambulance - tram wins
Tram vs police outrider and important head of state delegation in unmarked Mercedes - tram wins
Tram vs Crown Prince Philippe, Princesse Mathilde and their three tousle headed adorable blond children - tram hesistates momentarily. Then wins.
Tram vs beer lorry - beer lorry wins.

All clear? Thank you.


Mya said...

I think I've got it. Does it make any difference if you wear flourescent armbands?

Mya x

Waffle said...

We tend to think of that as a challenge Mya. Best avoided.

La Belette Rouge said...

I read your hilarious post to HE-weasel and I let him guess in the rock,paper, scissors of tram vs. x who would win. He got them all right!! We were both LOL!!! Love it!!

But what happens when it is tram vs. tram?

Waffle said...

I think the He-weasel should win some kind of prize for that. He must be spiritually Belgian!

Tram vs tram - ooh, the heavens shudder and the gods weep when that one happens.

Xtreme English said...

oh, good...i know this our country (heh), black and white markings as shown in your "tram wins" photo mean PEDESTRIAN CROSSING, ALL VEHICLES STOP.

jebus...mebbe they should put up a sign so the poor 'murcans don't get smashed to bits.

Waffle said...

Nah, Extreme. How would we get our fun then?

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