Tuesday, 10 June 2008

In which I am invited to Paris Colleague's housewarming

Today I received a long and convoluted email from PC, inviting me to her housewarming in a glam part of Paris where bouffant haired philosophers outnumber viciously psychotic old ladies (in itself a rarity).

The other addressees (hundreds! I can probably muster about 8 friends and that would include family members and clinically insane people met in therapy) had exotic names and email addresses, like vogue.com and culture.gov and lvmh.fr . There was a light smattering of other Eurozombies, though I assume they were French ones, with good hair.

The message, which MBF described as "the lewdest housewarming invitation I have ever seen" started with a gratuitous anecdote about persuading a team of builders to move her claw foot bath by wearing mini shorts and pretending to drop and pick things up. There was a lot of talk of filling the bath with Veuve and some mention of dates and times, but then came the killer phrase.

"Dress code: Something you look good bending over in".

Well. Internet. I am somewhat at a loss. Clearly mere clothes will not cut it. My initial thought was one of those individual one person saunas that jockeys use. Comme ceci:

And by the way, this picture? Making me laugh like fool.

What inspiration does Belgium offer (it has a heavy responsibility, since I hold the entire country responsible for the state of my arse)?

This, possibly?

Or this?

(yes, I have 130 photos of the damn parade, you can expect to see them reused at every tenuous opportunity)

I am open to suggestions. Possibly I will showcase some outfits tomorrow. I may even have to convene an emergency session of Belgian Fashion Clinic! Watch this space. If you dare.


The Spicers said...

I vote for the single-person sauna. Tres chic!

Anonymous said...

pencil skirt - everyone looks fabulous in a good one and if you team with stockings with seams and heels you cannot go wrong....

Waffle said...

I heart - Possibly hard to source the sauna in time, and I wonder about train travel to Paris with it. Otherwise, indeed. Both chic and flattering.

Emily - your suggestion is clever, imaginative and sensible. Sadly I am none of those things so more likely to go with some heinous Belge-tastic get up...

Pig in the Kitchen said...

the party sounds too terrifying. I wouldn't go.

but if you do, may i suggest a leather skirt and vicious heels?

the leather in itself will suggest lewd and sensual things to - well - everyone, and the heels will reinforce it all. You probably won't even need to bend over.


La Belette Rouge said...

I am working on getting you a "grandmother jacket."

And, I agree with the pig in the kitchen, I would not go to that party. Too scary.

Waffle said...

Pig and Woozle, Full disclosure here: I have NO intention of going to this party. I sort of feel I should for blogging potential, but cannot face the hours of sitting in the corner feeling like a tool while nubile Euros gyrate and wave their lovely hair.

Unless I had a grandmother jacket. Then I would. I could mesmerise them all with my lamé palm trees! And they would all think it was 'deuxième degré' (ironic). But it would not be. Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

can i shame myself by asking what a grandmother jacket is/looks like please?


Waffle said...

Emily - aha, you need to head over to La Belette Rouge to find out! Not for the faint-hearted though (the jacket, not the weasel)

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ghada said...

شركة تنظيف منازل فى الدمام
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام
شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
شركات نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل
شركة غسيل كنب بالدمام

ghada said...

شركة نقل عفش بالدمام الشرق الاوسط متحصصه فى نقل عفش واثاث بالدمام ونقل العفش بالخبر كما انها توفر شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل والخبر وشركة نقل عفش بالقطيف والاحساء وجميع خدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة الشرقية بارخص اسعار نقل عفش بالدمام وتقدم ايضا شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام والخبر
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شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف

ghada said...

شركة نقل اثاث بالاحساء
شركة نقل عفش الجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
شركات النقل البري بالدمام

ghada said...

شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
ارقام شركات نقل العفش بالدمام
ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
شركة تخزين عفش بالدمام
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة وشقق بالمدينة المنورة شركة غسيل خزانات ومكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة انها الاولى فى مكافحة ورش الحشرات بالمدينة المنورة رش البق رش الصراصير مكافحة النمل الابيض بالمدينة المنورة
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة