I'm just checking in, internet. Because I am alone in the house with men with chainsaws. They come from the 'social gardening' initiative which I assume is shorthand for "we have recently left prison where we served time for crimes of violence. But we like power tools".
I hope my cynicism does me a disservice, but just in case, if you haven't heard from me by, say, midnight, could you send someone round to tidy up my dismembered corpse?
Thank you. I love you all.