Wednesday, 4 June 2008

The Belgian Waffle personality test

It's almost summer, the womens mags are all at it, so I though Belgian Waffle should have its very own multiple choice quiz. So here it is.

Could you be a Eurodrone?

1. What is your view on enlargement of the European Union?

a) An economic inevitability but a political challenge.
b) Meh.
c) Turkish men, so sexy. I am in favour.
d) Will it mean more bananas?

2. Complete this sentence. Jose Manuel Barroso...

a) ...the President of the European Commission, has pursued a policy of cautious reform.
b) ... makes my skin crawl.
c) ... is a very virile and attractive man.
d) ... has tasty fleas.

3. How many EU member states are there?

a) 27 following the most recent round of enlargement in 2007 embracing Bulgaria and Romania.
b) Lots. Most of them end in "ia". If you confuse them you get into trouble. Generally best to avoid saying their names.
c) So many, carissima! So many handsome men! I love!
d) None that grow bananas.

4. The Lisbon Treaty

a) Is a workable compromise, though there may be clashes ahead between the forces of economic liberalisation and the new protectionists.
b) Is the bane of my life. The mere words make me want to stick red hot skewers in my eyes.
c) Makes me hot. Grrrr.
d) does not contain enough bananas

5. When you hear the Ode to Joy

a) I feel uplifted. And sing along in German
b) I retch involuntarily
c) I feel like getting nekkid
d) I want another banana. Or possibly to expose my genitals to you.

6. How many stars feature on the European Union flag?

a) 12, the number of perfection
b) Oh god, still stars? I thought we were over that micro-trend. The Chanel prints were nice, but the rest is soooo derivative.
c) Check out my ass, I've had it tattooed on there
d) Those aren't stars, they're bananas.

How did you do?

Mostly as: You are Peter Mandelson. Fuck off. You already have a job.

Mostly bs: You are me, well done, you are ideally suited for life as a Eurodrone. Just don't expect to enjoy it.

Mostly cs: You are an Italian porn star. Your place is in the European Parliament.

Mostly ds: You are a monkey. With minimal training you could be me.


La Belette Rouge said...

I didn't do well on your test. Mostly b's for me. As my He-weasel is part monkey I feel sure he would do all d's. I don't think I will print out our test results and take them with me to the consulate. I don't think the French would be impressed.;-)

Iheartfashion said...

This is terrific! I'm with you, a b. with just a little bit of monkey and Italian porn star thrown in.

Jaywalker said...

I heart:I think that's the perfect combo. You could probably run the whole European Union! I feel we need your fashion forward perspective over here.

Belette: The French have a great respect for massive indifference, it can only count in your favour. Alternatively you could tell them about Serge and his Crepes?

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