Friday, 30 May 2008

Yes, I'll pay for his therapy.

-Mme Jaywalker, bonsoir. I have had to punish Lashes today. He was once again taking his zizi out.

- Bonsoir M. Goatee. Ah yes? Oh dear. Not again.

- Yes. First he and Talkative took their t-shirts off. Then Talkative bit Lashes' bottom. And then they took all their clothes off. And Lashes waved his zizi around. So I have placed him in the corner of the yard.

- Oh. Right. Ok. Hopefully that will do the trick. There is a lot of zizi waving about at the moment, isn't there?

- En effet; it is a veritable epidemique.

- Hello Lashes. Why did you get your zizi out. Mr Goatee said he would punish you if you did, didn't he? Remember last time he said he would chop it off and staple it to your head if you did it again.

-Because my zizi needed air.

- We've talked about this before haven't we. Your zizi can get air through your pants. And your trousers. And if you get it out a seagull might mistake it for a sausage and nip it off.

- No, my zizi is a ninja. It will fight the seagull back, look..

- NO! Put it away Lashes. Seriously. What if M le Directeur saw you? He still hasn't forgiven us for the caca dans la cour incident!

- [sings] Pistachio, cow pat, your mother has a moustache.

.....

5 comments:

Mya said...

I'm afraid I can't top the caca dans la cour incident - my Sprog merely urinated, quite forcefully, mind you. Teachers not over happy. I thought it showed evidence of good integration, myself.

Steve Estatoff - I remember him. In fact, I think that's when I stopped watching Nouvelle Star with any enthusiasm. Love the description of him...very accurate. And did you know Andre Manoukian was once married to Liane Foly? It probably explains a lot.

I'm really enjoying this blog - highly entertaining! Keep up the good work.

Mya x

Jaywalker said...

Ooh cheers darling. Will do my best. There's a whole lot more weirdness to come out I think!

Yes, the Andre thing, my goodness. And apparently they parted on v acrimonious terms and he has written a deeply insulting book. I am trying to resist buying it, a step too far into Nouvelle Star madness. BUt give me a couple of weeks and I'll probably be able to regale you with choice extracts...

Weeing in the schoolyard is standard practice surely?! Indeed an excellent level of integration, bravo Sprog....

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