Qu: Does my bum look big in this?
That depends darling. You're not wearing those tracksuit bottoms again are you? Or are you an expat living in Brussels? Do you feel your rear is wholly out of proportion with the rest of you? Because you may be suffering from Belgian Bottom Syndrome (BBS).
This benign but distressing condition is rife among recent female immigrants to Belgium. Noone has satisfactorily identified the combination of factors (chocolate, waffles, frites, beer, ice cream) that predisposes sufferers but all weight gained in Brussels goes instantly to the rear, making for a characteristic back and bottom heavy silhouette.
As yet there is no cure for BBS, but many sufferers manage their condition well with 50s style full skirts and Spanx. There have been some interesting experiments with 'wobble therapy', but this approach has yet to yield any concrete (or even just less spongy) results.
We're in uncharted waters here, but at least we have each other. There's a great self-help group that meets weekly at the friterie on Place Jourdan to experiment with the healing properties of deep fried goods. Courage, chérie!
Elleke van Boucheron writes:
You want I get you the number of my surgeon?