Fingers - Son, 7. Precise, ritualistic, long fingered. Used to think he was a parrot. Now "a bat". Likes: biscuits, Mario, handwriting practice.
CFO (Chief Financial Officer)- Father of children, French, tortoise lover. Very sound chap.
Weepette - also known as Oscar. Dog (a whippet, pronounced "weepette" by CFO and other francophones). Stupid, elegant, cowardly.
Space Cadette: younger sister. Sweet, generous, funny, bat shit crazy. Tendencies towards freeganism and knitting hemp sanitary towels.
Prog Rock Step Dad: Space Cadette's dad. Enormously erudite, kind, learned. Willing to carry pounds of self-raising flour, Heat magazine and a packet of fondant fancies across the Channel several times a year, only to be forced into the kitchen to cook, and sat on by the spawn. Sends haiku form text messages on matters of York importance.
Sir Waffle/Bearded One: Father. Bearded, important, occasionally forgetful, divides time between the Barn of Doom and Notting Hill. Knight of the realm! For real! Sorry, I still can't get over that.
Violet - best friend in London, and also whole world. Wonderful, kind, funny, amazing taste. Makes good cakes. Hates: needles, hedgehogs.
BMF - Best Male Friend. Source of consolation and great good sense, until he took up Bikram Yoga. Favourite expression: lavish gift. Hates: animals of all kind, especially anything that slobbers.
M - brain twin. Lives in the interwebs. Likes: macaroons as big as your head, her new bike. Co-author of Facegoop .
Wafflechild - Also known as Wafflebébé, or "my gay adoptive son". Awesomely talented montage maker, flatpack constructer, techno-guru and general hilarious companion, Mr Tom Houser.
B - Lawyerfriend. Sanity saving source of baby animal goodness, acerbic commentary on Belgiana, general despair and throatpunching.
The Assassin - Neighbour. Works in covert ops, or possibly IT. Vivid imagination.
Dr Capybara - occasional columnist, dispenser of tough love and sharp kicks.
Dr Capybara - occasional columnist, dispenser of tough love and sharp kicks.
The Holy Tortoise: Tortoise, cult object, in custody of CFO. Unconfirmed powers of healing. Lives in garden with 5 acolytes, occasionally dispensing penance to sinners. Missing for nearly a YEAR. Now returned, dusty, covered in ants and furious at the moral laxism that has reigned in his absence. Hallelujah!
6 comments:
Thank you for the explanation. Now all makes more sense. I'm pleased your friend Violet tastes amazing.
Oh, thank you. I feel very stupid. I thought the weepette was a pun on "wee pet" plus a nod to its somewhat melancholy-looking character.
Does "on a pilgrimage" for a tortoise parallel "hiking in the Appalachians" for an American senator? (Not sure if that made a dent in Belgian news.)
Anon - that would depend whether 'hiking in the Appalachians' means 'dead'. I suspect it doesn't.
Tnks! Now I feel U2D. Beat out "Anonymous" in [originally] thinking Weepette a whiny child. Should have known your spawn wouldn't be annoying, having U for their Mom & all.
But how but how could anyone hate a hedgehog? It flabberghasts me. :(
Ah, the peerage, explained here at last. ~grin~
Thank you.
Post a Comment