Monday, 28 April 2008

New improved Dramatis Personae

Lashes - Son, 9. Vague, beautiful, contrary. Likes: Lizards, wall eyed anime characters, arguing.

Fingers - Son, 7. Precise, ritualistic, long fingered. Used to think he was a parrot. Now "a bat". Likes: biscuits, Mario, handwriting practice.

CFO (Chief Financial Officer)- Father of children, French, tortoise lover. Very sound chap.

Weepette - also known as Oscar. Dog (a whippet, pronounced "weepette" by CFO and other francophones). Stupid, elegant, cowardly.

Space Cadette: younger sister. Sweet, generous, funny, bat shit crazy. Tendencies towards freeganism and knitting hemp sanitary towels.

Prog Rock Step Dad: Space Cadette's dad. Enormously erudite, kind, learned. Willing to carry pounds of self-raising flour, Heat magazine and a packet of fondant fancies across the Channel several times a year, only to be forced into the kitchen to cook, and sat on by the spawn. Sends haiku form text messages on matters of York importance.

Sir Waffle/Bearded One: Father. Bearded, important, occasionally forgetful, divides time between the Barn of Doom and Notting Hill. Knight of the realm! For real! Sorry, I still can't get over that.

Violet - best friend in London, and also whole world. Wonderful, kind, funny, amazing taste. Makes good cakes. Hates: needles, hedgehogs.

BMF - Best Male Friend. Source of consolation and great good sense, until he took up Bikram Yoga. Favourite expression: lavish gift. Hates: animals of all kind, especially anything that slobbers.

M - brain twin. Lives in the interwebs. Likes: macaroons as big as your head, her new bike. Co-author of Facegoop .

Wafflechild - Also known as Wafflebébé, or "my gay adoptive son". Awesomely talented montage maker, flatpack constructer, techno-guru and general hilarious companion, Mr Tom Houser.

B - Lawyerfriend. Sanity saving source of baby animal goodness, acerbic commentary on Belgiana, general despair and throatpunching.

The Assassin - Neighbour. Works in covert ops, or possibly IT. Vivid imagination.

Dr Capybara - occasional columnist, dispenser of tough love and sharp kicks.

The Holy Tortoise: Tortoise, cult object, in custody of CFO. Unconfirmed powers of healing. Lives in garden with 5 acolytes, occasionally dispensing penance to sinners. Missing for nearly a YEAR. Now returned, dusty, covered in ants and furious at the moral laxism that has reigned in his absence. Hallelujah!


Eva Maria Chapman said...

Thank you for the explanation. Now all makes more sense. I'm pleased your friend Violet tastes amazing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, thank you. I feel very stupid. I thought the weepette was a pun on "wee pet" plus a nod to its somewhat melancholy-looking character.

Does "on a pilgrimage" for a tortoise parallel "hiking in the Appalachians" for an American senator? (Not sure if that made a dent in Belgian news.)

Jaywalker said...

Anon - that would depend whether 'hiking in the Appalachians' means 'dead'. I suspect it doesn't.

Inkey41 said...

Tnks! Now I feel U2D. Beat out "Anonymous" in [originally] thinking Weepette a whiny child. Should have known your spawn wouldn't be annoying, having U for their Mom & all.

Anonymous said...

But how but how could anyone hate a hedgehog? It flabberghasts me. :(

MicroBureau said...

Ah, the peerage, explained here at last. ~grin~
Thank you.

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