Today's inaugural post is brought to you by the power of ibuprofen - thanks, pharmaceutical industry! I have toothache, but am not sure I can face the brutal honesty that presumably characterises Belgian dentistry as it does most other walks of Belgian life. I am thinking along the lines of:
"Your teeth are disgusting! Do you not brush them? This one here is now a rotting stump. Also this one. And this one again! Do you gargle with le coca cola? Why are you so stupid?"
I may be mistaken. But I doubt it. Of course the corollary is that they will doubtless repair my teeth faultlessly and speedily and with ample pharmaceutical assistance for not very many euros. I just can't face the humiliation. My friend Matilda suggested the Scandinavian Dental Centre, but somehow the thought of a wholesome, probably attractive, Nordic person looking into my mouth seems even worse. Also, Matilda said, disappointingly the dentists appear to all be women! Not at all what she had in mind. Will wait until the pain vs shame calculation tips in favour of intervention. And hope that I still have a few teeth to salvage at that point. Apparently, according to today's desperate surfing ("dentiste" "urgence" "phobie" "gentil") they can do marvellous things to your rotten stumps gums, comme ceci http://www.churchill-aesthetic-center.be/9_flyersPdf/FLYER_blanchiment_des_dents.pdf . Marvellous, there's still hope. They all look so happy! And blonde! And not like a gang of evil spiked worms is chewing through their gums!
As a result I am living today in a sort of semi-stupor. Like any other Monday, you might think. Yes, indeed, sort of, but with a slightly swimmy surreal quality that is not wholly unwelcome. Thankfully the corridor of ennui is oddly peaceful. I thought I might just shred the entire contents of my desk and construct a giant nest out of them to crawl into, like a gigantic puffy eurohamster. Then I could advertise myself as a happening in the Tribune de Bruxelles and maybe get enough donations to pay for treatment! Yes, it's all falling into place. Fire up that shredder.